[First of all , my english is not perfet , sry ] Hey , soo , i am 16(17yo soon) , and the last three months have been my "coming out + discovery of myself" . I've already came out ( as male - gay ) , but i've being feeling things that i've never felt before . So , before the last three months , i had no doubt about being gay . I knew it since i was 3yo ( 3 , not 13 ) ( i remember mysef having some kind of attraction on a guy when i was in a resort ) , i never had sexual/physical attraction on girls , like , 0 , and always on boys . I already had some girl crushes but those happened becuase i didn't know what gay meant ( i was kinda 9yo and i was too innocent that i didn't even know what sex was , but i had phisical attraction on guys the same way , even don't knowing what that feel was . I tought that having a girlfriend was a normal thing that everyone had and i should like it , so i just had emmotional crushes ) . So , i can tell that i am "99% sexualy gay" and "75% emmotionaly gay" , i think that about the emmotion part becuase , if it is a girl or a boy , it still a human , so , is not impossible for me to like it , BUT , it would be very hard because i dont have physical atracttion on girls , it would be hard and unecessary , because i am a person who cares about "sex" . So , i had some troubles on knowing why i am gay , why people are gay , if there is a reason in my past that made me gay , etc etc , but i kinda solve it all . But one / two things have left : 1- I still have phisicall attraction on boys and not on girls , is better for me watching a gay porn then a lesbian porn . But i don't know what is happening that my mind tells me that i don't have it ! I don't know how to explain it , like , i have this kind af attraction , but looks that my mind refuses to aceppt it !! ( PS : I don't have that thing that "i don't want to be gay , i want to be straihgt" , i just want to know what I REALLY AM ) . Its like , "" i feel like a am gay , but who can tell that ? " What do you guys recommend to me to make it clear ? 2- This is kinda together with the another question : i discovered that one of my best friends on the childhood is gay . He invited me to a LGBT ballad/party ( i don't know the word in english , its kinda a place that people just come to encounter themselfs , drink a bit , dance , etc , but its nothing like an erotic thing ) , and like , as i said , i don't fully know myself iven if i knew it months ago ( it may happened becuase i started to bring so much things to my mind that made me counfused , i feel like if there weren't in the society the word "straight" and the word "gay" , and people just lived like they wanted , met who they wanted , and it didn't literally ( i am not saying that there is a difference , i am telling that society didn't point the difference and people lived what who they wanted , the same way that i don't like blue and not red ) pointed this , i think that would be gay and not straight ) i did . I always were a shy person , ive never kissed a boy or a girl , never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend , never went in alot of parties , i don't know myself very well ( even knowing , it's kinda paradoxical but i think you got what i want to say ) ... but it is my opportunity to know how it is in practice , but i donn't know hot that place is , if i will bring steriotypes in my head ( that is a LGBT place , i don't know how it is ) . I wouldn't like to dat a girly boy ( i said DATE , i didn't say that i am against or something ,one reason that i wouldn't date a women is because of that "girly" way , so i wouldnn't like a boy with a affeminate way ) , so i am scared to think that ALL gays are girly . I don't know if is better to wait to a more "peaceful" place to make it happen , becuase , as i said , i am shy , never went in too many parties , so it would intimidate me abit ( becuase i've never been with people who party alot , their "so social" way , etc ). Tell me wath you think about that , if is better to wait and do not go , or go ... To make clear , I KNOW that most of poeple aren't GAY or STRAIGHT , thats why i said that i think that i am phisically gay and emotionaly "bi but more gay" . Anyway , thanks alot , if possible share with me if u had troubles like mine ! Thankss !! ---------- Post added 14th Feb 2014 at 11:12 AM ---------- One thing that i didn't say : i've always "checed out" women and men . But there is a BIG difference . When i check girls out , just think that she is beautifull , BUT i don't have any kind of attraction to it , i think that i devaloped this because all my friends and my dad did that when i was younger , i just check it because my eyes and my mind say to , but , i check , think that she is beautifull , and k ( as i said , any kind of attraction , no fantasies etc ) . With guys i check , think taht is attractive and start that fantasy thingy . If you are gay , does it happen to you ?
So I'm about 9 years older than you. I knew I was gay from very young. I used to think girls were pretty. I mean we have eyes, right? Lol. So if you know you can't be with a woman physically, then bud you are gay. But you are still young and you don't have to come out if you don't want to. Try going out with a girl and see if you like it? Then do the same with a guy. I didn't start dating till last year. But I have different reasons for waiting. And everything you described I've went through. And you don't have to date a feminine gay guy. There are a lot of masculine men your age out there.
Yes, me too. I will never deny a womans beauty but that is all that it will be with me. Admiration for her beauty but never sexual attraction - I have never felt it before. And I have some hot lady friends. Now if a hot guy walks past... ohhh mamma mia!
