Great, He likes me now?!

Well, that last few days have been an emotional heart ache. An old male from of mine from years ago has tracked me down and we’ve been talking. He is gay. Was gay when I was friends with him years back. He was open about it and I was always okay with it. He was ( still is ) a good guy so having him as an openly out gay friend never bothered me. Life happened and we eventually went on with our lives in different directions.

I have thought about him over the years and had a secret crush on him. In our reestablish contact, I shared that secret crush with him and came out to him. He was totally so cool about it. Such a huge surprise. However, turns out he had the same secret crush on me back then and still has it today. WTF? This cute gay guy I had ( still have ) the hots for had the hots for me too back then and still does? Great... That so does not help. He lives too far away for us to date or anything. It’s bad enough we both didn’t share with each other our feelings back then and wasted so much opportunity and time, but now that we still hold strong feelings for each other, we live to far away to take it anywhere. That sucks straight up. I am attracted to him and would love to see where we could go. UGH! ( Yes, just to clarify this. He would / could be my first. )

We need to see if we can get this distance thing worked out between us. At least for a visit and conversation. It may not lead anywhere, but it may. I do want to find out so I need to see if this can be worked out between us.

I am just shocked that he was attracted to me then and I had no clue and to find out he still is attracted to me and now so far away from him. So did not see this coming my way. He looked me up and found me. I stay below the radar on purpose, even on the web. He must of really had to do his work to find me. Wonder if that says something good? :dry: