I'm a 16 year old gay male and I have been out for a while now. I'm perfectly happy being gay and out to my friends (and most of) my family. I've had two boyfriends, but as of now, I'm single (for a year now :dry I would like a boyfriend, but in some ways I want to wait till I am fully ready to focus on our relationship. Anyway, most of my friends are girls, and I love hanging out with them and talking to them. I even have started to feel like I might have a small 'crush' on a few of them. I've had a few crushes on girls in the past but they were strictly emotional and usually my close friends. I'm wondering if this is the same kind of 'crush' cause I care about them a lot and I would say I love them. I find some girls attractive, but I'm not exactly attracted to them and I DO NOT want to have sex with them. The thought of being in a relationship with them (or any girl) gives me an awkward, uncomfortable feeling. I'm attracted to men and only can see myself in a relationship with a hot, muscular guy. :icon_bigg I guess my question is; have any of you had 'crushes' on your friends that confused you? And does this make me not gay? Any input is appreciated.
To answer your first question, yes. And to answer the second question, no. My therapist tells me that sexual attraction occurs mostly from the neck up. I think the same is true of love in all its variations. (You might want to look at "So, Love..." in the Later in Life forum.) It's entirely normal to love people of both the same and opposite sex. I think the fact that you can feel intensely about someone regardless of their sexuality says something very good about your mental health. But if you have no interest in sex with a woman--if your fantasies involve only "hot, muscular guys"--you're gay. End of story. Full stop. And my opinion is worth every penny you just paid for it. Best wishes/.
Oh yeah, crushes on friends can be really confusing. To answer your question, no, having feelings for girls doesn't necessarily make you any less gay. Sometimes, it is easier to think of sexuality as romantic orientation (who you fall in love with) and sexual orientation (who you want to have sex with). They don't always add up. For instance, I have recently been having lots of feelings for girls but I would never want to have any kind of sex with them. That's the way I personally think about sexuality. I hope that might help a little bit
Yes and No. Yes, I've had crushes on girls before, in a romantic sense, especially ones I've been close with. Still, romantically and sexually I'm attracted to men. No, it doesn't mean you're not gay, and it's totally up to you what you think you are. For me, I consider myself a Panromantic Homosexual, which means that romantically I could be with any gender, but sexually I am only atracted to men.
You're allowed to have feelings for people who you're not "attracted" to. Several people think I'm dating my best friend, even though we've never dated and probably never will. But I'd still say I love her. It's not weird at all. Most people have close friends that they'd say they love, even though they're not "attracted" to that person.
I do the same thing that u do x) . I am gay , 17yo , never had a boyfriend , but i came out like 4 months ago . Like , i sometimes i have an emotional crush like u do on a girl , but i know that it woudln't be viable to have a relationship because i don't have sexual attraction on girls and i emotionaly prefeer boys too. And my crushes with girls are pretty different then my boy crushes . I only have a girl crush if it is my close friend , becuase i like the PERSON , but like , i prob wouldn't have a crush on a girl just seeing her face as i would if i see a hot guy . It doesn't make you not gay , don't worry !
This is pretty much how I feel. I'm pretty sure I'm lesbian but I can find guys attractive, mostly their personalities and looks etc. I don't want a relationship with them though and I really don't want to sleep with them. Girls on the other hand, oh my... They can really get me excited
