I've officially been questioning for almost six months now. I'm still only 14, but I have felt undeniable attraction to certain people. I've heard that many straight people have an "exception" to their sexual orientation. However, I feel almost as if attraction to people of the same sex is more than incidental for me. I'm still mostly in the closet because I don't want to risk coming out as gay in high school but realizing later on that I am actually straight. I have crushed on more than a handful of guys, but it was almost always (exactly two exceptions, and even those were very brief and not at all intense crushes) purely physical attraction. I felt butterflies, but I had no desire to pursue them. On the other hand, I often find myself attracted to a girl both in the physical and emotional sense. I want to be around her, get to know her, be more like her (sometimes), make her like me, etc. I don't feel repulsed per se when I imagine doing anything with a guy. I feel like maybe I could fall in love with a man one day, but we would have to be close friends first. I remember I used to do this thing where I would think, "It's moments like these when I know I'm not a lesbian," whenever I felt an expecially strong attraction to a boy. But now I'm starting to think maybe I was trying a little too hard :lol:. I have never dated or kissed anyone. Only recently, I noticed my friendships with other girls weren't really normal. It's hard to describe, but it was almost as if I was dating my best friends without knowing it. I would be infatuated with a friend (I wanted to be around her all the time, I would go out of my way to find her and talk to her, which I rarely did with my other friends, and I, quite literally, was blind to her imperfections.) and we would get very close, but then all of a sudden I stopped being obsessed with them. I know I am at least bi-curious because I've fantasized about kissing some of my female friends. I am usually unsure if it's a "girl crush" or something more. Sometimes, when I'm talking to another girl, I find my gaze starting to drift downwards... I think I've always looked at the girl first/more closely when I see a couple. In movies, I am usually more interested in watching the female lead. However, it could just be that I'm comparing myself with her. I've always felt different, but I had always assumed it had something to do with aspects of my personality, my intelligence, or my incompetence in social situations. Sorry, I know that was a lot of information. I'd be grateful if you shared anything that might be relevant. Some specific questions though: -What does it seem like to you? Am I bi or a full on lesbian? Or should I not even bother labeling it because it'll probably change by the time my hormones settle down? -Would it be irrational to experiment with a straight but bi-curious girl? -How and when did you know what you were? -Do you know anyone who truly thought he/she was gay but turned out to be straight later on? -Is it too early to know for sure at 14 years old? -Let's say I kiss a girl and I enjoy it. Would that seal the deal? Even if you don't have an answer to all the questions, it would really help if you shared what you know. Thank you so much!
You could be bi. Human sexuality is very fluid and for many people it genuinely changes with the passage of time. Only you can tell. How do you imagine yourself in the futur? Let yourself imagine being with a woman, in a relationship and see how that makes you feel. S See how your feelings evolve with time. 14 is not early. I was asking my uncle to flex his bicep for me at six.
I forgot to add, if I get jealous when my best friend mentions the guy she likes, is it a sure sign that I like her?
All I know is I am not "straight" now. And I knew I wasn't 100% heterosexual at age 14, when I start to notice girls, and get crushes. My first huge crush was on a math teacher of mine in the 8th grade. Hehe.
