I'm at that age where you go through every phase imaginable, and that makes me a little iffy about how I feel. I like boys, but I find myself liking girls more and more as well. I have no problem with it, but I worry that it may just be a phase. I mean, I wantto like girls... But I feel like if I told someone about the way i feel, it'd get brushed off and I'd even be called a "poser" or "attention seeker" or something of the sort. I'm just tired of being told that everything I do is just a phase.
let me tell you something. The first time when I came out as a bi to a friend of mine. He told me that I am just trying to get an attention, and because of this I was kinda depressed (did not understand why I was keep doing this). It took me a while to understand that sexual/romantic orientation is a personal thing. ---------- Post added 23rd Feb 2014 at 12:56 PM ---------- I mean do not allow anyone to put a label on you if you do then you will find yourself very unhappy and confused. Don't worry about this "phase" thing. I came to a conclusion that people tend to say "phase" because they thing its ethically incorrect to be with the same sex. So they use it as a pretext to not get into it
Contrary to popular belief 'that age' where you go through all the phases starts at birth and ends at death. You'll always be interested in stuff for a while and then forget about it later, that's got nothing to do with age, so first off don't worry too much about it being something to do with your age! Second, have a think about phases for a moment. Think of every phase you ever went through. How many of them did you start thinking "This is going to make me so miserable, I can't wait to get stuck in to it!"? I'm guessing not many. All 'phases' in this context are, are periods of our life where we really enjoy something more than we perhaps usually would. So let me ask you something, leaving sexuality out of it for the moment, let's saaaaay all of a sudden you get a growin interest in roller blades. You just can not get enough of these damn roller blades. Roller blades are the absolute BOMB! In this instance, what is the difference between a phase and a long term hobby? The answer: When it ends. See a phase isn't a set amount of time. You could roller blade for 10 years in your teens, then stop and look back when your 50 and think about that phase where you were mad for roller blading. So when does roller blading become a hobby? Do you get to decide or the people around you? Do you have to have done it for a certain amount of time? If you DO do it for enough time, what if you just lose interest! Just like that. What if you did roller blading for 40 years and then one morning you just thought, you know what, I can't be bothered to do roller blades today. That 'phase' was 40 years!! How does this apply to your sexuality? Well how long do you have to like girls before that becomes part of your sexual identity? How long do you sit and wait for the phase to blow over before you allow yourself to enjoy it? And probably the most important question of all, if you go ahead and let yourself explore this part of you that likes girls, one of three things is going to happen. 1. You love it, forever. You're bisexual or maybe gay, who knows, but you definitely love girls forever. 2. You hate it. You've realised it's not for you. 3. You love it, you date and you enjoy it, then suddenly you meet this guy that you just can't be without for whatever reason and all of a sudden you're not thinking about girls any more because this guy is THE ONE. But you know what, you're not going to look back on the time you dated girls and think 'what the hell was I doing thinking I liked girls' you're going to look back and think that even though there were some rough parts, you enjoyed it. You know you enjoyed it or you wouldn't have done it for so long! Forget everyone else's opinions and let yourself explore.
