I guess i need help ... Maybe because i am in denial? I am in my late 20s, female and i am still confused and i fall into this "cycle" which affect my mood quite badly. I am usually not that concern about my sexuality but once in awhile when people start discussing about relationship problems or when i realised i have some weird feelings for another female or i start to obsess about female celebrities till my friends would ask "are u lesbian?" ... That i would start to think and be confused/annoyed/afraid ... I had flirt with girls years back ... It felt ok but weird ... Its like i see no future in that. Like it would lead nowhere and even if we did, its awkward and wrong. But anyway it didn't work out -- she just suddenly called me "disgusting". I am not sure why ... (Maybe she find it awkward too)... I am too hurt to ask. Anyway, i am usually more attracted by female but it could because i am socially awkward and have social anxiety especially towards guys. I do have a few male celebrity crush too ...but just not as much and excited to talk about them than my female ones. And recently when i heard about my female celeb crush maybe lesbian ... I couldn't help but smile at the idea till my friends have to ask again, "are you lesbian?" :/ Anyway its just annoying that the cycle kept repeating itself and it sucks .. :/ Any suggestions?
