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Married and questioning. I need advice.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by WildwoodFlower, Feb 24, 2014.

  1. I am 21 years old. I have been openly bisexual since middle school. I've have a few out in the open girlfriends, and I actually fell in love with one of them. It turned out to be shitty though and the relationship ended so I went back to dating only men. But in the end I ended up marrying a man this past October, we also have a son. I love my husband but lately I just haven't been happy. We've been together since I was 18 and he also has a son with another girl. He and I went through a lot and he ended up cheating on me with her because he wanted his son back so bad (this was within our first month of dating) so I understood. I gave him the choice and opportunity to choose her to have his family back together but in the end he chose me. And then 6 months later we found out I was pregnant, and then almost a year after our son was born we got married. I know he loves me, but I guess I never really got over him cheating on me with her. But lately my unhappiness has gotten worse. I'm really confused lately, so I've been going to dinner with my girlfriends and one night our bartender was my ex girlfriend Karissa. (The one I fell madly in love with) and it totally brought me back to when I was with her or just girls in general. I felt so good and so happy when I had her. I've been wondering lately if my unhappiness may be because I'm back in the closet? Maybe my being "in love" with my husband has just turned into "having love for him." I find myself looking at girls more. Maybe I'm just still hurt because he cheated? I'm sure I'm just being stupid. But I went out of a limb and posted on here in hopes that someone may give me advice, or a kick in the ass so I can get back on track with my life.
     
  2. softsprite

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    I'm so sorry your husband cheated on you! That hurts like hell. Not sure I have any advice to give, but I can assure you that you're not being stupid here. Have you talked with him at all about your feelings for girls? Would he understand? Would he let you explore that without compromising the integrity of your relationship? Do you feel like you'd be happier with a girl? Could you two still be good parents together if you broke up? Is he a good friend to you? There are just so many questions. The most important thing in all of this is your happiness. A happy parent is a good parent, I think, and remaining in the closet or denying your true feelings for the sake of keeping the family together will ultimately hurt you deeply. Whatever happens, make sure you keep the line of communication with your husband clear and honest. I hope someone on here can give you better advice. Take care of yourself and your child and be true to best and most authentic self! You deserve to be happy.