A guy asked me out, I'm freaking out too much for it to be normal

Alright, a while back I posted here about liking this guy but as soon as I thought he might like me back I started getting lots of "I'm a lesbian" thoughts, and someone in the answers told me I might have some sort of defense mechanism or mental block, and that made sense because I am pretty sure I am attracted to men. A little background, thought I was straight til I was like 14, then I really liked girls only and then in college last year I started liking guys again. I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual now at most.

I started talking to this guy, I know him because we share a mutual friend. I kind of only liked him a tiny bit, but when I started talking to him we ended up having a lot in common, he's so sweet and we stayed up so late in a totally natural but fun conversation. The thing is, I'm too shy to talk to him that way in real life. I've been really really into guys lately, and I wanted to flirt with guys but not become involved with only one guy, I was finding so many men good looking and I was so hormonal that I kind of freaked when I found out how sweet he is. I kind of passed that though, I tried to allow myself to like him and got over the hormonal thing.

It got to the stage where we knew we liked each other, and finally I told him I like him. I think I told him because I wanted something to happen. It wasn't exactly a lie but it felt like one. I think when we both knew we liked each other I may have gotten bored? I found myself being sad when he wasn't texting me, and I don't want to be that kind of possessive person who is always waiting for them to text me or is wanting to text them all the time. Basically, I've never ever been in this situation, where I find out a guy is as sweet as that and we have so much in common, he's pretty funny too.
When I told him I liked him my hands were shaking so badly I could hardly type, I had to go downstairs, it was like 2 am, and pace around the kitchen, I even cried. It's the morning now and I still have a knot in my stomach, I'm seeing him tonight.

Like, usually I would see this as a total red flag and just distance myself from him, but I feel like if I did that I would really hurt him. It's not just hurting him that's stopping me, I feel like the mental block thing is true, and that this is a coping mechanism and I'm just scared. I want to go through with this to help get rid of my issue with being close to guys, but I don't know how to stop my brain from making me distance myself. I know my brain is going to be on panic mode which will stop it from being natural.

:eusa_doh: