I have no interest in closely getting to know a guy IRL, but a subconscious part of me always thinks while out in public "I wonder if they think I'm cute?". Some part of me wants/needs them to be attracted to me. I also have confidence problems when it comes to casually talking to guys even though I'm not attracted to them. I can't look them in eye or in their direction at all really.. I am not like this with girls. I also have one online guy friend that I have ZERO interest in and would probably not even like him if I knew him in person tbh, but when I see him interacting with other girls I get a bit jealous. I'm not even attracted to him on an emotional level.. I am thinking this is self-esteem related, but would like some input. I guess when I say not attracted to them I don't know for sure, because this might be attraction? But I know there have been times where this happens with some pretty unattractive guys.
I'm not remotely an expert on self esteem but I can say from my experiences, for me, it's more about the conquest and being thought of as attractive, sexy, etc. I had very low self esteem AND I desperately want to "help" people. So bring me a guy who is clearly hurting in some way, throw in the feeling of attractiveness that I caught his attention, and that's how I ended up pregnant at 17. 10 years and 3 children later and I'm still with that man but am far from satisfied. I'd like to think that I'm smarter than that now. If not, at least my preferred partners (women) can't get me pregnant! Start by working on your image of self. Find things about you that make you unique and special. It's totally okay to pump yourself up by thinking good thoughts about yourself. Let me know if I can help at all!
Hey!\ You are literally describing my situation right now. I've felt this way for years, and still now. Lately I'm extremely insecure about my weight, in particular, and I know I love girls, but I feel the need for guys attention growing. The jealousy thing happens to me too. I do believe it's self esteem related. However, it might be a part of the programming that goes into every kids head. Most pre pubescent kids are asexual, but society says they're straight. So you grow up oogling guys at six and seven, and then you suddenly realize you didn't feel this way at all at 13. So it could be leftover 'programming' that boys are 'supposed' to like you.
Hi! I can totally relate. I flirt with guys all the time and feel the need to get their attention because I've always been held to that standard. However, once they ask me out, I realize I was never attracted to them; I was just seeking gratification. Instead, the few guys that I do like are the ones I get nervous around and feel true attraction towards. I'm more attracted to girls, though, so I usually feel the way you're describing when I just seek attention from guys, since they're oh-so vulnerable. But are you attracted to girls in any way?
@anonuser- it's kind of hard for me to tell IRL, because I live a pretty isolated life. I know I can definitely admire a girls looks and they can turn me on occasionally, but overall I think sexual attraction would never be the biggest driving force in any kind overall attraction to me. I feel like I might be romantically attracted as well, though. There have been certain girls in the past where I just feel this need to get close to them, and I want to experience/share things in daily life with them. I can't tell if it's on a friend level or not, but I know it felt different than how I felt with my closest of gal friends. I have never felt the urge to kiss them, but I have felt the urge to hold their hand and or just cuddle with them. Just the nice little things... It's almost like with guys I want to get an ego boost, but with girls I want to give the ego boost and truly get to know them. Should I note that I have zero experience with either sex?
