So I had been thinking that I was asexual. I know I have difficulty not seeing sex as gross - not morally or anything, just in the physical aspect of it. However, reading some more threads, I'm now wondering if this is just some squeamish-ness. So I guess part of it is that I'm not actually exactly sure what sexual attraction is. So question one is does anyone have an idea for what sexual attraction is? Any feelings that accompany it, etc. If there are asexuals who aren't aromantic that could answer, where do you draw the line between sexual vs. romantic attraction? That one is really confusing for me. And finally, I've noticed that other people at school will comment on someone they think is attractive. I can tell if someone looks attractive, but a) it doesn't seem to mean I am attracted to them, and b) it doesn't seem worth commenting on. So I guess I'm wondering, could this just be that I am uncomfortable saying anything? Partly it seems to always either be about celebrities or comments from straight guys.
I'm not sure about the difference between sexual and romantic attraction. To be honest I'm still figuring it out for myself. At a guess I'd put it as sexual attraction is more physical, whereas romantic attraction is more emotional, but with room for both emotional and physical in each type. It's probably not black and white. But I didn't understand what any kind of attraction was until I was 19 when I got my first crush. As for what people at school say, it sounds like what they are doing is pretty physical, and I can really relate to not joining in, as I find I don't find anyone attractive until I've spoken to them, and personality makes them appealing physically...which probably sounds weird. I had a similar experience to you where a lot of my friends would comment on celebrities and classmates, and I would pretty much just sit and listen as I had nothing to contribute. I could always tell if someone was attractive, but even now, I'm not sure whether I actually feel attracted sometimes. What I'm basically saying is that different people mature emotionally and physically at different speeds. Just because you don't find anyone attractive now doesn't mean you won't. Similarly goes for finding sex gross. You might find that finding someone sexually attractive makes sex seem less gross and more appealing? Then again, you could be asexual, and that's okay too, but not something I have any experience in.
I've had a crush on one person that I haven't talked to. Other than that it's been purely based on emotional connection and attraction to a person's personality - ruling out all celebrities, definitely. But then the one person makes me question it. Come to think of it, other than the one person, I don't think that I notice if someone is attractive unless I've developed the emotional connection.
Sexual attraction is a pleasurable sensation in the genital area in reaction to seeing attractive people or thinking of having sex with people. ---------- Post added 3rd Mar 2014 at 04:22 PM ---------- I don't really understand what makes romantic attraction different from wanting to be best friends with someone, but I do know that romantic attraction is wanting to be emotionally close to the person and form a lasting bond with them, while sexual attraction is wanting to do sexual activities with them.
I tend to develop a sexual attraction after a strong emotional attraction and bond has occurred. For me it's a pleasurable feeling in the genital area when someone I like looks at me, smiles at me, and especially touches me. I basically want them physically close, I want to hold them and feel the intimacy with having sex with them.
Sexual attraction doesn't always create arousal in the genetals. There are lots of people with intimacy issues and erectile issues so it may not lead automatically to stimulation down there. Think wider arousal which can be increased blood flow, quickened breathing, maybe an increase in tempature. These effects can be more subtle and difficult to spot.
Sexual attraction, as stated above, is typically characterized by a pleasant sensation in the genitals when you see or think of someone/something you find attractive (frequently referred to as being "turned on"). It can generally be described as the desire to engage in sexual activities with someone or something, or the feeling of being "turned on" by the aforesaid. For example, if you see a guy -- let's call him Jamie -- who you think is cute. What do you feel when you see Jamie? Do you think, "I'd like to have sex with him," or do you think, "He's cute, but I wouldn't want sex"? If you think the first one, you're sexually attracted to Jamie. Also, if you happen to get an erection from thinking about Jamie, then chances are you're sexually attracted to him. Thinking sex is gross is not necessarily being asexual, although it does point in that direction. There are people who think sex is gross but still get turned on by certain things. Also, like the above poster said, it's not always genital excitement. There's several other signs.
