Hello! So I've been questioning for a few years now. At first when I started I realized that when I tried to masturbate to videos of penises and I got very hard and ejaculated without really liking it, but that's what happened. All my life I have been dating girls and I have been in 3 different long relationships and a few shorter ones, ONLY with girls. We have had regular sex. I am however a bit shy so I have a hard time getting hard in the start of the relationships usually, but after a while its usually no problem. I love a womens ass, I go around and look at them all day when they pass me by. I am however, a bit discusted with how a pussy looks, but not how it feels though and when I finger my girlfriend I get hard. I never really ever looked at guys in real life, I think from thinking back that I can remember seeing a dick and getting a bit horny. Like 3-4 out of 1000 times. I almost choke to the thought of having sex with a guy. But I still get very hard and ejaculate when I masturbate to them though, I mainly only watch the dick and get kind of discusted with seeing the face. So Im starting to think that I might be bisexuall, and not yet accepting of my attractions towards males. And also it could happen that I might be exclusively gay, cause I get so much harder and ejaculate easier from seeing a male playing with himself then when I watch girls only and when I have sex with my girlsfriend, where I sometimes get bored in the middle of the act. But, boy do I still want to have sex with all the hot girl asses out there. What do I sound like to you? Do you think my judging of myself being bisexual could be correct? Maybe the male attraction side can get a bit intense in the start since I never watched any males before? Or is it just me making excuses? I feel that I might be making excuses to myself to be able to live as a hetero male, which I do pretty well and I am happy with doing it. I do feel that I could live my life with my girlfriend I have right now, I don't think I would long for a guys company.
What happens if you don't use porn at all, and masturbate solely to fantasy? That's a more accurate indicator of where your arousal is focused. If you try it both ways -- thinking only about guys and masturbating to orgasm, and then, in a separate session, thinking only about girls -- that should help you get a clearer picture. If you find them similarly arousing, you're somewhere on the bi spectrum. If there's a strong difference between fantasizing about guys vs. girls, then you're closer either straight or gay (depending on which is more arousing.) The revulsion thinking about having sex with a guy is more likely to be a conscious aversion to the idea you might be gay. Ditto any feelings of disgust that happen after ejaculation. It's the arousal during masturbation that will give you the most accurate insight.
I think when I think esclusively about women(as I have done my entire life) I have to fantasize more and work harder, and often I think about them being with fucked by a dick they really like, that's what I though at least? Or maybe what I do to them and when I watch theire ass or something. With men I don't like to look at theire faces, but I do get really hard from just seeing the dick and maybe the stomach muscles above and don't have to fantasize much and ejaculate really fast. I don't like to see 2 men together, I prefer seeing a girl getting it by a big dick instead.
