hi, Im 25 years old, and from a young age i was always interested in women, i was 100% straight, in my teens when my sex drive really kicked in i loved everything about the female form, became quite sexual at a young age, fell in love, i just loved women, i used to think why would anyone be gay when women were so beautiful heres where it gets complicated i have OCD and at the time i was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia because one day i woke up with the words "youre gay" repeatedly over and over, this lasted months even though i had no attraction to men, i became suicidal, when it passed i became asexual, i had no interest or attractions to anyone, still slept around and carried on living a straight life, fell in love but that buzz i once had for women was gone, a few years later i woke up with the same thoughts, this time i became weirdly attracted to men, not arrousing or enjoyable just pure anxiety, i never thought about men, it was just on tv or in the movies, then when they OCD passed so did the attractions, i became asexual again But now its back after meeting the perfect girl, after months of agonising and staying in bed im on meds and now im finding all men attractive, i hate it, but it feels genuine its not quite the same as when i used to see women as i dont find men sexy i just find their faces attractive, i feel nothing for women anymore, the love i have for my gf has diminished and now i feel like im attracted to some of my life long friends, im seeing people on tv ive seen thousands of times and finding them attractive, ive been on countless gay porn sites and gay cam chat rooms but dont feel any excitement, but it feels like and im quite sure i have turned gay, its not that i have realized, because thats not the case, i know full well i havnt, i read others realization stories and i cant relate to them, im really not liking it and am majorly depressed, the life i have lived and who i was has all gone, my asexuality never really bothered me too much because i can still conect emotionally with a female, but now this is happening i just want my attraction to females back, i dont want to feel this way over my mates, Has this happened to anyone else? a complete change in orientation at 25? has my obsession caused this to happen? is it just a phase? or am i living in my past and clinging on to the feelings i used to have. Im not homophobic at all, its just i cant ever see myself being sexual with a man, Am i mental and thinking way too much, i just dont know! the most depressing this is when i think about my gf, she is perfect for me, i loved her so much and our future was looking so good, i cry everytime i think about her and what im doing to her, i just need help. i start cognitive behaviour therapy in a few weeks to help my OCD but it feels like somethings changed in me now i dont want. Some one help I was straight and now it appears im gay!
im not so sure to be honest, its not the obsessing thinking thats getting to me now, its all the emotions and stuff and the attraction thats getting to me
Have you ever thought it could be the meds... Some meds can cause changes in interests and personalities as far as I'm aware. I'm no scientist but it could be some sort of hormonal imbalance caused by the medication. I would consider seeing your doctor and possibly trying an alternative before worrying yourself unnecessarily...
i am on meds, but havnt been for long tbh, but the real gay feeling did properlly start when i started taking them, i assumed it was because it was helping me see passed the OCD, im not in full therapy yet, ive been on the waiting list, damn NHS, ive seen a few people and been assessed a few times but nothing more yet, i cant see how this is the meds though, it feels real, it kinda feels like how i thought about women, minus the lust and sex appeal i used to feel for women, just not pleasurable and i keep second guessing myself, but ive been asexual for a quite awhile since though so all these feelings and thoughts feel kind of alien to me, i know i didnt have this attraction before, how can this just start up? ive heard about repression but if thats the case, thats mental, i would have experimented by now if that was the case, god knows ive been in enough situations, massages from gay thai guys, slept in bed with guys, a few come on to me, but no its never ever crossed my mind before. not even something ive even been tempted by, or even an after thought, all my dreams are still hetro but my waking mind isnt. is it possible to be 25 and have be gay for only a few months??
i am on meds, but havnt been for long tbh, but the real gay feeling did properlly start when i started taking them, i assumed it was because it was helping me see passed the OCD, im not in full therapy yet, ive been on the waiting list, damn NHS, ive seen a few people and been assessed a few times but nothing more yet, i cant see how this is the meds though, it feels real, it kinda feels like how i thought about women, minus the lust and sex appeal i used to feel for women, just not pleasurable and i keep second guessing myself, but ive been asexual for a quite awhile since though so all these feelings and thoughts feel kind of alien to me, i know i didnt have this attraction before, how can this just start up? ive heard about repression but if thats the case, thats mental, i would have experimented by now if that was the case, god knows ive been in enough situations, massages from gay thai guys, slept in bed with guys, a few come on to me, but no its never ever crossed my mind before. not even something ive even been tempted by, or even an after thought, all my dreams are still hetro but my waking mind isnt. is it possible to be 25 and have been gay for only a few months?? ---------- Post added 5th Mar 2014 at 11:21 PM ---------- in all honesty though it has been about 6 years since ive felt any real strong physical attraction to anyone, only emotional, i could enjoy sex, my arousal was always hit or miss though but it never stopped me from performing, but i the buzz had gone that i once felt. but that didnt matter to me because of how much i enjoy the company of a women, i feel like im going crazy and im the only person that has turned gay before ---------- Post added 5th Mar 2014 at 11:22 PM ---------- in all honesty though it has been about 6 years since ive felt any real strong physical attraction to anyone, only emotional, i could enjoy sex, my arousal was always hit or miss though but it never stopped me from performing, but i the buzz had gone that i once felt. but that didnt matter to me because of how much i enjoy the company of a women, i feel like im going crazy and im the only person that has turned gay before ---------- Post added 5th Mar 2014 at 11:33 PM ---------- im far from lusting over men now though, i just keep thinking how good looking guys are, it doesnt seem to be nothing sexual yet though, but could denial be playing a part of that?
