Crossdressing Fantasies?

My immediate thought is this:

How did you manage to go from bisexual male, discover what you have and come out with 'gay' as an answer?

That question isn't meant to put you down, I just want you to think about your thought process.

What is it about crossdressing that appeals to you?

 

Yeah it makes sense...

Is it just a sexual thing or is it more general?

 

Wanting to dress as a woman, or wanting to be a woman, in no way means you are gay. It might mean you are trans but it does not mean you are gay.

 

Regarding the bisexuality aspect, are you sexually and emotionally attracted to females? Do you see yourself in a relationship with a female or a male? What makes you most happy? I don't think cross-dressing is indicative of orientation.

 

So let's assume the urge continues to grow at its current rate. What does that mean for you? What do you think is going to happen?

 

To help parse it out, when you feel you love and miss her, you need to perhaps examine whether this is a "friendship" type of love or the type of love that two intimate partners have. And does she know about all you've described here?

 

To back up for a minute, I would suggest you first take your time to address the topic with yourself...as in admitting to yourself what it is you want and will make you happy. If you're still in the mindset of not knowing what type of love (friend vs relationship) you truly have for her, it's just going to complicate it. My advice: find an lgbt affirmative therapist.

Other than that, she already knows you're interest in guys (she found the porn, you were with her friend). Likely, she's scared of losing you. If you decide to end the relationship, make sure she knows you want her as a friend and that love will not change. But from what you describe above, she already goddamn knows and neither are willing to discuss. Open the lines of communication, tell her you still love her (just not sexually), you'll still be there for her. I think you'll relieve yourself of a lot of anxiety that you're likely feeling and both will feel happier because you and her will know you loved her enough to handle the situation with her open and honestly. While not always convenient, honesty is one of the greatest attributes and acts of love another human can extend.

 

This is likely due to social conditioning and is something that can change.

 

Maybe I can shed abit of light on this.
You shouldn't fear that "urge" it's not some habit that can be hidden. Trans is a broad spectrum term, it could describe someone who likes to dress up, someone who wants to be in between genders or someone like myself.
so Don't fear it ^^ explore it.

 

I have this friend who struggled with what you are going through many years ago, we are both from the same small town and when he started getting those urges to dress up and look fabulous he was scared! When he finally came out as a bisexual crossdresser he lost a lot of friends, but us who truly understood him supported and loved him. He has two side, one is Mickey and he is a punk rock die hard, and then there is Mikii who wears cute dresses and has the best makeup I have ever seen. Moral of the story, be who you want to be and who cares what anyone else thinks. To me is sounds like you are like him. He likes guys and he likes girls, he actually has a bisexual girlfriend and they have been in an open loving relationship for a few years. Good luck!

 

No problem, again best of wishes!