Sorry for the long post, but there's kind of a lot. I've got that maybe-straight crush that I told myself I would NOT HAVE! :bang: I'm a sophomore in high school and he's a freshman, but I'm young for my grade so there's only a few months between us. He's funny and cute, but probably off-limits. We will call this crush A, because "he" gets kind of confusing". If he's gay, he is DEFINITELY in the closet. He does have some of the typical stereotypical gay characteristics, but his older brother (we'll call him B) is an out of the closet flamboyant guy who also goes to my high school. So besides the fact that femme is just a generalization, I don't think this is a good indicator. A has never had a girlfriend (that I know of), but we're 14 and he's a freshman, so that doesn't seem to say much. He also doesn't make any homophobic comments or anything, but again, gay brother. We're both in the chorus/theatre/band group, but we hang out with different people - in part because of the age difference. We get along, but we're not close. This means it would be really awkward to come out to him specifically. So all I can really do is things like "Oh, you're hungry? HERE EAT ALL MY PIZZA (oh and by the way you're cute, but do not say aloud)." Anyway, I had resolved to tell him I liked him next year and try to ask him out. That way if he was gay, he wouldn't be just a freshman - which would probably make it more difficult to come out for him. Even if he isn't, we'd know each other better. But on the other hand I think, I have been crushing on him since the start of the year. Thank you to those that read the whole thing. Thoughts? Also I'm pretty sure this is in the wrong location but I have no clue how to move it now.
Damn, the maybe or maybe-not he's straight crush hit you this early? (Assuming if this is your first). I can definitely empathize with you on this. I've been hit with the same thing this year as well, though the ending was definitely one I did not want. (My crush was straight... And today of all days was when I had to find out :bang: :tears. If the crush has been lasting for the entire year, it is likely a sign that the relationship could go somewhere. I would recommend observing your crush more closely and also analyze how you act around him. Before you can try to interact with him, make sure you're not being an awkward turtle and blow the whole conversation by stuttering over every word. It's best to gauge the reactions really. You should try to get the acquaintance-ship that you two have into a friendship. Try not to make it too obvious that you're crushing on him, but leave subtle hints that you are interested. As far as asking him of his own orientation, the advice you've given yourself should suffice. What is key is to try and strike up a friendship and find out more about him. I hope it turns out well for you. I'm not sure if the advice I have was any good (considering my crush was more stare at him and have a mental breakdown when he says hi).
Thanks! That advice has helped. I'll wait until we're friends, whether that is this year or next. Sorry your last crush didn't work out, and I wish you luck in finding someone. (*hug*)
Well... There are two options. 1) what IceFlower suggested. Just try to get to know him and get close then maybe come out to him. 2) ask him out, out of the blue, I have done this before and it isn't as bad as it seems. If you have talked to him before and he at least knows your name just walk up to him and be like "hey, you are really cute. Wanna go get some lunch this weekend?" I get it, the second option is pretty blunt and he might freak out and say no so try and do it in a more private place. I'm just impatient so I just kinda go for it regardless of what the guy's orientation is if you don't want to (maybe) freak him out then just go with option 1. I have totally been in your shoes and it sucks but stay strong! EC is behind you and if you do get him you guys will be totally cute together! One way or another you gotta find out his orientation, there are just two ways to try and do it Good luck!
Ok, I've worked this out. First, I'll finish coming out - which should be done in terms of friends tomorrow/Thursday. After I've come out to my mom (probably by note, but that's off-topic), I'll see where I am with A. Then, if I think we know each other enough so that he won't just be really weirded out by me, I'll tell him I like him and see if he'd go out for lunch or something. Or, an alternative route, I could ask him out, then just casually mention to my mom that I asked a guy out. Not with my dad. He would tell me about how excellent the love of a woman is.
How are things going on? After a few days removed from my own crush and somehow getting back into it (I am hopeless after all, I'm not the best at letting go), I need to reiterate one more thing. It may be something you're already good at, but I cannot stress enough the importance of acting naturally in front of your crush. Today, I made the mistake of turning into an awkward turtle. I became totally and incredibly awkward in front of my crush and 12 years worth of social experience and skills was gone in that instant because I was too struck with my infatuation. Do not freeze up and lose control of yourself while talking to your crush. Be confident, but also remember to be careful. That much I can say. I'm assuming you don't need the above since you two seem to be used to talking, but just keep it in mind. I hope everything goes well.
It's going pretty well. I don't think awkward, and it doesn't feel like I'm frozen up. Not much has happened, but I'm still working on coming out to people around me. Added it to facebook, so I've just got parents. Not sure how long that will take, but I guess I'll see where I am at that point.
