So this is half venting and half advice request. I'm eighteen, just for reference's sake. Since I was about fourteen, I though I was a lesbian. My eyes were drawn to girls and their girly bits, but I still noticed when guys were aesthetically attractive. Then in the last year or so, I thought I might be bi, because I wasn't overly repulsed by being in a relationship with either sex. But still, I thought, shouldn't I be champing at the bit to get into someone's pants? I just wasn't feeling it like I'd heard adolescents were "supposed to". And in the last few months, I found AVEN, and thought, "Hey, maybe I'm asexual!" And I seemed to fit all their ace criteria. No particular interest in sex itself, though one can appreciate beauty in its varied forms. Now, I've always been shy, very much so. Never had very many friends at any one time, and never a significant other. Maybe my innate shyness was preventing me considering being with people. But maybe I'm demisexual. I've not had much chance to experience the possibility. Aven got me thinking about romantic vs platonic vs sexual feelings towards others. I've moved out to uni, and new friends have got me considering, asking myself if I wouldn't be all that averse to sex with a guy, or a girl. Still strangers and classmates are mere people to me, not possible sex partners. But I have trouble understanding the idea of romantic, exclusive relationships. Aren't they just friendships with sexual activities? So maybe I'm aromantic. But I still think I want sex. With an innocent's curiosity, or with biological impetus, though? So at the end if this, my pontification, I'm not much closer to a concrete answer than I was at the beginning. Can I be an Aromantic Demisexual? It seems the most fitting label I've found, apart from Questioning, or Confused.
