So here's my story.. I started an online relationship with a guy that lasted several months; we texted and talked on the phone constantly, but we never met in person. I developed strong feelings for him, even loved him, but of course I thought it was strange we could never meet up. Long story short, after some investigating I found out that HE was actually a SHE. Yupp, I was totally catfished! I confronted her and she explained that it all started out as a mean joke - she made a bet with some friends that she could make a girl believe she was a guy. However, the joke turned into something much more for her once she developed real feelings for me. She felt horrible, but didn't know how to tell me the truth. I was so upset and embaressed once I found out that I just simply stopped talking to her. After a few days I realized how much I missed that person I had grown so close to, so I decided that if her apologizes were sincere, we could be friends. I told myself that the personality was still the same, just the gender had changed. I thought it'd be easy to turn off those feelings I had for 'him' and be friends with 'her'. Not that easy. I caught myself flirting with her often, which really confused me because I had always identified as straight (she is bi). I figured that once we actually spent time together in person these feelings would go away cause I would physically see that the guy I had been crushing on was no more. We eventually hung out and we had a blast, but those feelings didn't disappear. Okay, so fast forward, we are now in a relationship and have been for 4 months. I realized that I love the person for the person, not the body parts. As for right now, I identify as 'straight, but I happened to fall in love with a girl'. I have told my close family and friends about my current relationship; they are supportive, but also confused by it. I don't blame them though, it was hard for me to understand and I dealt with it first hand! For the most part I feel comfortable with where I am with this, but I start to feel anxious when I think about the future. I've always imagined myself married to a man and having children. So, now what? Is this just a phase? Am I just confused? Am I bi now? I try to take each day for what it is; I'm enjoying my relationship and I'm seeing where it goes. Any thoughts or advice are welcome Thanks for reading!
If you really are enjoying it then it doesn't matter who you're in love with. I had sort of the same thing happen to me. I'm gay and got catfished by a girl that pretended to be a guy and I loved her for a little while. I hope everything works out and good luck
Thank you for sharing! It's nice to have someone to relate to. I am enjoying it, but I can't help thinking that I was tricked into this and maybe it's not real. It's tough.
lol, y'all got catfished! sorry, i just had to. forgive me. anyway, you said you guys where constantly on the phone, did her voice not raise any flags?
She has a lower voice for a woman, but when we first started talking I did think the voice seemed slightly high for a man. I really liked him though and just brushed it off telling myself not every guy needed a deep manly lumberjack voice lol.
hahaha. awww. you are so in love. i'm sorry of how things started, but i hope things end well between you and your new love. time will tell how far and what obstacles your relationship can overcome. you will feel it when its time for you to finally make a choice, or explore other options. if you happen to fall in love with a man, evaluate your situation and what will ultimately make you happy, if she's not it, then separate ways, and go on with your life. goodluck and i hope it works out for you whichever way you choose.
Thanks for the advice I'll just keep taking it one day at a time and try not to stress about labeling. I feel like sexuality is a lot more fluid than people like to think.
I have a friend that was straight and she fell in love with a girl. (She's still in love too, but things are probably not going to work out sadly ) She was straight and she is not attracted to women at all, but it was just this one person. She felt such strong feelings for her, but she was still straight. Sometimes you just can't control who you fall in love with regardless of your sexual orientation.
good to know that i'm not the only one who got catfished. your story is similar to what happened to me but yours is also different from mine. in my situation i was catfished by a guy pretending to be a girl. it was embarrassing to say the least but in my case i couldn't forget all her/his lies. i have an issue with people who lie. i can forgive and i did but its the lies that still bothers me. i'm glad yours ended on a better note and i hope it works out for you.
That's exactly how it is for me too! I'm definitely still attracted to guys, but I love this one girl. I'm not attracted to girls in general. ---------- Post added 12th Mar 2014 at 08:47 PM ---------- I'm sorry to hear about your catfish experience cause I know how hard it is. It can be very emotionally traumatic. The lies still bother me to this day, but I try to think of this as a separate relationship from how it all started and it helps me.
thank you Daisy. i'm glad things are working out for the both of you. i also like your way of thinking and i wish you luck. i still hear from the guy who tricked me from time to time. we still talk just not as often.
i'm pretty much in the same boat. I am straight, i have a son, always been head over heels over guys. But suddenly about 3 weeks ago I started getting closer to my lesbian friend. I have known her for over 4 years and just recently we got closer, her best friend just so happens to be one of my very good friends, she's a lesbian too. anyways, to make this story short, i have developed unexpected feelings for her. it's literally driving me crazy because i want to be with her ALLLLL the time. but when I really like her and express myself to her is when I'm drunk. She admitted she "had" a crush on me when she first met but quickly got over it because she knew I was straight and there was no way she would change that.. blah! But one night of partying and drinking, she got pretty crazy with me and would grind on me. I didnt make much of it since we always play around and talk shit. but her face started getting closer to mine and i kinda liked it... but i pushed back, laughed, and told her she was crazy. i told her the other day that i think i like her. she said that's normal and it will go away.. Whatever we carried on like normal. this past weekend i was supposed to hang with her after my plans, she wanted me to join her and our friend at some lesbian party. I said I would go but one of them would need to play as my gf cause I'm not into that. she said ok, our friend called me and told me not to bother because my crush was drunk and she wasnt going to last. so I didnt make she called and texted me asking why i didnt go, she missed her grinding partner, and she was sad about it. i told her that i think she has a secret crush on me and responded with "duhh!" not sure why but my heart kinda skipped a beat after hearing that. anyways that following day she and her gf broke up and was really upset about it. she called me I met up with her a local bar and she didnt tell me it was lesbian party, but i went as soon as she saw me she hugged me so tight and for so long... it felt good yet so wrong. because our mutual friend has no idea about this and i'm straight. so i said "okay thats it i'm here lol". started drinking and she was stuck to me. I didnt mind it. once the drinks started kicking in there I went getting super comfy with her, getting closer as we talked, and finding reasons to touch each other, not sexually. Monday comes she's still upset about the break up and I felt i needed to do something about it, I have sent this girl a bouquet of roses to her job! WTF!!! I have NEVER EVER done that for anyone. If anything I'm one getting them. She was really happy and texted me. I'm going nuts... Ahhhh!!! i'm just rambling on.... point is that this is new to me!!! i have never ever in all 31 yrs of my life experienced something like this. I have hung out with lesbians all the time, been hit on, and never have i felt anything for anyone of them. now here comes Kitty and i'm like crushing on her like never before... I was seeing a beautiful german man and I have lost complete interest in him... because she's all i wanna know about... when i dont hear from her i'm a little miserable.. i dont know whats going with me... i need help. i dont know if she's filling a void or what... I DONT KNOW! HELP!!!!
@str8girl, I totally know what you're going through! It was and still is hard to understand sudden feelings for a girl when you've only ever liked guys. It was really hard for me to come to terms with.. I went from being accepting of it to talking myself out of to laughing about it to crying about lol it was crazy! Finally, I just decided the feelings I had were real and I wanted to explore them. I didn't want to have regrets later cause I was too scared to find out if there was something really there. Something that helped me was realizing that just because you explore a relationship with a girl, it doesn't mean you're signing up to be a lifelong lesbian lol. If you decide to move forward with your feelings, make sure you're honest with her. Don't be afraid to tell her you're confused, what your limits are, and at any point you might decide this isn't for you. If she cares for you, she won't rush you. My gf was really supportive the entire time cause she knew all these feelings and experience were so new to me (which she better - she got me into this mess anyways lol). I can relate with your question about whether she's filling a void or not.. I question that for myself too :/
Ahhh!! Well here's an update, she doesnt want to ruin our friendship and is not going to try anything with me, because she says she's been there before and it never ended well. so to avoid that its better we try to put this behind us and move forward... that was our talk earlier this week. she told me she has been talking to some girl and wants to see where its gonna go. I was completely heartbroken by it, I am literally crying about it all the time. LOL pathetic! She's just going about it as if nothing.. which i understand why, but man! it hurts just a little bit... last night we hung out with some friends after our big talk for happy hour, talk as if nothing happen our friends went to get some drinks and we some alone time, she grabbed my hand and asked me if i hated her and told her to stop being silly because i'm here hanging out now. whatever she ended up leaving and i began drinking more... alcohol and emotions are never a good thing.. i was hanging out with a good friend(her best friend also a lesbian) and OH man i have confessed everything balling in tears and all. sigh! i am a hot mess right now. I saw her today we go to bootcamp and its like nothing... this stuff isnt no jokeeeeee. My gay best friend told me to just treat this like a regular crush and move on from it.
Thanks for the update! I can see where your friend is coming from. It's a tricky thing when you develope romantic feelings for a friend, but it sounds like she really values your friendship. I agree that you should just treat it as any other crush. Good luck with everything!
