Heyy, I recently accepted that I like girls after always thinking that I did but always keeping it really buried deep down. So I came out as bi and thought I had a preference for men but didnt actually want anything from guys like anytime soon I just wanted girls for now. But the more I think about it the more I realise I dont ever wanna be with a guy ever again. Not romantically, not sexually nothing I dont even feel emotionally interested in them anymore. I still can look at a guy and think they are really attractive but that's it, my interest stops there. I dont feel like any attraction or feelings for guys was forced but now the idea is unappealing. So I feel like I could be a lesbian. But growing up I was like most girls and I was boy crazy. I wanted to be with a guy, get married have kids and I found them really good looking. When I had my first bf at 17 (im 20 now) I was so happy and thought I was in love ( although I think it was loneliness). When we had sex it was just uncomfortable and I didnt like it but I was never grossed out by him I just never enjoyed it. And I have never enjoyed anything sexual with a guy since. Also growing up I always did have an attraction to girls I always loved lesbian porn and never liked straight porn but I do occasionally like gay male porn. And I had crushes I didnt even realise till now and I always knew that if I was never with a girl at least once id regret it forever but thought id always end up with a guy. Ive always preferred the company of girls and was always better friends with girls than I ever was with guys. Thinking back now id say I noticed my attraction to girls started at around 12 when my first kiss was with a girl. I dared her to kiss me at a sleepover and we made out for like 10 minutes. I didnt have a crush on her though and we never mentioned it again and I did like it but after it I went on liking guys and ignoring any attraction to girls. I had times where I thought about it and would think "I could be gay" but then id think "No, no, no way" and I would just bury it away until something else happened. And Ive always been a tomboy but also really girly at times also. So im so confused cause everything I use to want with a guy I now want with a girl but its hard to accept when I thought I was straight like 6 months ago. I dont want to say im a Lesbian and then be interested in a guy like 2 years from now (which I doubt but you never know). But Its like once I accepted I liked girls everything fell into place and maybe it opened the door to the fact that I am a Lesbian because im losing all interest in men and I feel like if I was Bi I would still at least have some attraction to guys and other then noticing that they are attractive physically because dating having sex with or spending my life with a guy kinda terrifies me a bit now or makes me feel awkward. But thinking of that with a girl makes me happy. So any advice would be great. Sorry if it was to long or repetitive. Also im completely fine being a lesbian.
I was in the same situation with you starting at age 12. I denied it for the longest time and who knows maybe I am in denial still. I have a girlfriend... But, I don't know. Even when you decide something about your sexuality it is still really confusing haha, I'm pretty sure I still like girls. Anyway, It sounds to me that you like girls but don't want to give up on men yet, to be blunt. That is perfectly fine! Accepting yourself is a long process so if that is where you are right now then so be it. If you KNOW you like girls then you should really try to accept it (it sounds like you have) and maybe come out as bisexual to only a few of your closest friends. That way you don't have to decide you don't like guys, after some time you will begin to figure it out more. If you accept that you are bisexual and then begin to do more sexual things with girls and realize you really only like girls then you can maybe come out again, or something ultimately labels don't matter that much If you need anymore help or have any questions feel free to message me
Well, i think i can give you 2 tips: 1°- If you think someone is beautiful/handsome, that doesn't necessarily mean you are physically attracted to that person. 2°- I think labels can help you to think about yourself and to see that you are not alone. However, if you find labels too confusing, don't worry too much about them. Your feelings and your happiness is what matters. This. Of course, people may think you are confused if you come out again later, but what really matters is your happiness, and not what others think about you.
Your situation sounds almost exactly like what I'm going through, except as far as I know so far, I'm bisexual, even though I prefer girls right now. I don't really know what advice to give you other than the advice that people have given me lately--try not to be too hard on yourself about things, you will find the answer in time, and once you do figure things out, don't feel pressured like you have to come out to anyone before you are completely ready. I know it's hard because things are super confusing when you aren't sure of what label to use, but just try to have fun with things and see where it goes. It's hard, but try not to rush yourself--allow yourself time to figure things out and it will happen(*hug*)
I can definitely relate to this. I've identified as bisexual since I was 19, but recently I've been wondering if I'm actually a lesbian. I gave myself permission to consider the fact that I could be a lesbian and it's thrown my whole world upside down (in my head). I've had crushes on boys and dated/slept with men, and I've enjoyed it. But I have almost no desire to be with a man right now. I'm reading a book with research on sexual fluidity right now (by Lisa Diamond). The premise is that while men's sexuality is fairly fixed throughout their lifetime, women's can fluctuate. I'm toying with the label "lesbian leaning bisexual".
I feel the exact same way as you. I am sick of having to have a label - I just want to fall in love with who I fall in love with!
