I recently came out to my mom as gay. I know that I am gay, but she just says I'm confused because I have never been with girl. She doesn't think I'm gay because I don't act effeminate or flamboyant, which I don't, but I wouldn't say I act butch either. What do I tell her when she ask tells me that I'm not really gay, or that I'm just confused?
Well gay just means attraction to your same gender and if I were in your place I'd be tellin her that and also sayin that people are individuals and each have their own personality. And so some people are gonna be flamboyant and fem or whatever they be and that's regardless of their sexuality. But if she's someone who doesn't listen to reason and stuff, she may not believe that.
Ruthven has good advice. But to add, you can easily flip this. How many girls has your mom been with to know she isn't gay? Probably none, because she could just tell it didn't feel right.
Yep. That exactly. It seems like she's using stereotypes rather than actual logic. ---------- Post added 13th Mar 2014 at 04:32 PM ---------- And that's to the first reply. I forgot to hit "post." But the second reply also makes a lot of sense.
Thanks everyone for your quick advice. I just hopes she stays as open minded as she has been so we can talk about this more.
I am pratically in the same situation. I am pretty sure i am not confused, and i dont fit in the stereotype either. We talked about this a few times, but she doesn't seemed to understand my feelings. So we went to the psychologist (me and my mother, it was her idea). The psychologist listened to both of us, and helped my mother to see that i am confortable with myself and i am not confused. She didn't accepted everything, but i am pretty sure it will get better slowly. However, it is normal for parents to be confused themselves about all of this, and it takes time for them to understand what is happening. If you are really confused, thats ok and normal too. However, if you are certain about your feelings, your mother may be confused about the "news", and that is quite normal too. Peraphs my own history may be of help? http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/128363-going-psychologist-good-bad-idea.html Be honest with her about your feelings. What i am learning myself is that it may take some time for your mom to understand, but time and communication may help a lot. Good luck
Tell her you are very sure that you like guys. You may have questioned it at one time but now you are sure. Then give her some time to get used to having a gay son.
She's in denial. First stage of grief, it will take some time for her to understand. Congrats on coming out
