So I am a straight 31 year old chick, with a 9 year old son. Have been straight never thought being with woman. I do watch lesbian porn tho, I don't know if that means anything because from I read it's normal. Anyways I just recently started developing a crush on my lesbian friend. It's something completely new to me. I did tell her about my feelings and her main concern is our friendship because she doesn't want it to get ruined. She did admit in having a crush on me. But I just don't know what to do. I just want to be around her but I'm mostly attracted to her when intoxicated and I'm really shy around her now while sober mainly because of the crush I have got her now. She's one of my good friends and I have no idea on what to do. She did ask if she wanted me to have her keep her distance from me for a while until I regroup and get myself together again. Sigh! Someone please help and/or give me guidance and advise. Thank you!!!!:help:
I think your first clue is when you said "I'm mostly attracted to her when intoxicated." Red flag! You do not want to be involved with someone if you have to be drunk in order to like them. You're not going to be intoxicated every day of your life (hopefully) so that's just not going to work. I don't think watching lesbian porn has anything to do with it, either. I watch straight porn sometimes, but I know I'm not straight. Usually, people tend to lean towards the sexuality they are, but that's not always the case. It's just like straight guys watching lesbian porn; they just think it's hot. This is a lesson that's taken me a long time to realize: know the difference between loving a person and loving the idea of a person. This is a confusing concept, but it comes down to whether you love this person for who they truly are or if you have an idealized image of who that person is and you love that imaginary perfect person. I've had crushes on people simply because they were nice to me. I didn't really get to know them. I was basing everything on the fact that I was making scenarios on how I wanted things to go and almost creating personalities for them that weren't them. We've all wrote little scripts in our head on how we want this person or situation to be, but that's not what true love is. Once I snapped out of it, I realized that they weren't all that great! If you feel that this interest could go somewhere, this go take it. But be careful. Sometimes people jump into a relationship and then come to their senses that their expectations weren't reached.
Just the fact that you are even questioning should be something to look at most straight people don't get to the point of having to post on a LGBT forum to figure things out so tht should be an indication plus I have spoken to therapists before and a lot of people coming to terms with their sexuality sometimes let their feelings out when they're drunk straight people don't do that my straight friends are not attracted to me like that drunk or sober why don't you think you feel anything for her sober? Or do you and you thin it's something else?
Ahhh!! Well here's an update, she doesnt want to ruin our friendship and is not going to try anything with me, because she says she's been there before and it never ended well. so to avoid that its better we try to put this behind us and move forward... that was our talk earlier this week. she told me she has been talking to some girl and wants to see where its gonna go. I was completely heartbroken by it, I am literally crying about it all the time. LOL pathetic! She's just going about it as if nothing.. which i understand why, but man! it hurts just a little bit... last night we hung out with some friends after our big talk for happy hour, talk as if nothing happen our friends went to get some drinks and we some alone time, she grabbed my hand and asked me if i hated her and told her to stop being silly because i'm here hanging out now. whatever she ended up leaving and i began drinking more... alcohol and emotions are never a good thing.. i was hanging out with a good friend(her best friend also a lesbian) and OH man i have confessed everything balling in tears and all. sigh! i am a hot mess right now. I saw her today we go to bootcamp and its like nothing... this stuff isnt no jokeeeeee. My gay best friend told me to just treat this like a regular crush and move on from it.
