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Thought I was bi then, gay, then bi, now gay. Labels Suck/What's My Label

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Geek, Mar 14, 2014.

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  1. Geek

    Geek
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    Okay so here's the deal. At first I came to the conclusion that I was bi, then I though nah i'm more likely gay and now I keep bouncing back and forth and i'm not sure what people would classify my orientation. The reason is, is that I live in Hawaii and everyone is super open about their orientation and I want to be able to state what my orientation is/defend the community and be like "well if you hate the LGBT community than I guess you hate because i'm _____". I want to be able to keep people from getting confused if I say one thing one day and something different the next.

    Here's what i've noticed

    For Women
    • emotionally attracted
    • not sexually attracted
    • only can stare at a women and go "she's beautiful" or "she's gorgeous" etc, when I have a strong emotional attraction to them
    • I think I was in love at one point with a women or two but I don't want to have sex with her
    • Sex always creeped me out when I was younger but when I hit puberty, I still thought that about women but not about men.
    • can't look at random women and think "i'd tap that"


    For Men

    • have yet to have a "crush" or have a strong emotional connection to a male
    • can look at a random guy and think"i'd tap that"
    • can't see myself with a guy

    In terms of connection and love besides a sexual angle, I'm hetero-romantic but with men i'm homosexual". Is it possible that i'm a bi-demi-romantic homosexual? Can you be in love besides with a women and be straight/vise virsa. Or am I thinking about this wrong and I've "caught the gay" and I need to call in sick to get out of work xD.
     
    #1 Geek, Mar 14, 2014
  2. Opheliac

    Opheliac
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    Labels do suck, it's true. But you also don't have to label yourself or really conform to anything. It doesn't really matter much at the end of the day, what you label yourself as, as long as you're comfortable with it. Labels confuse the hell out of me, so I can't offer much help there :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: but ultimately, as long as you are happy with who you are, it's not really an issue.
     
    #2 Opheliac, Mar 14, 2014
  3. stocking

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    I heard some bisexuals fluctuate from being attracted to only men and sometimes only women . Your probably one of those bisexuals . Labels are a pain when this happens to you that's true .
     
    #3 stocking, Mar 14, 2014
  4. Will2M

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    Opheliac is exactly right. You don't need to apply labels as much as you think you need one. If you really really really want to have a label so you can say what you "are" then go with bisexual. Ultimately it is something that will come with time, you will begin to experience more things with different people/genders and you will eventually figure it out. For now don't worry about it. If you acknowledge that you are "non-straight" that is progress.
     
    #4 Will2M, Mar 14, 2014
  5. Geek

    Geek
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    So i'm bi even to I don't have any sexual attraction to women?
     
    #5 Geek, Mar 14, 2014
  6. Ebro1122

    Ebro1122
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    You can't be a bi *SEXUAL* if you are not sexually attracted to women. If you only can see women romantically/emotional, I think the best label (if you are comfortable with it) would be a Heteroromantic Homosexual.
     
    #6 Ebro1122, Mar 15, 2014
  7. Geek

    Geek
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    But that labels too long. Which one do I go with when it comes to just Gay Bi or Straight. Not with prefixes on bi just saying bi.
     
    #7 Geek, Mar 15, 2014
  8. Batman

    Batman
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    Just do you.
     
    #8 Batman, Mar 15, 2014
  9. TJ

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    If it's really an issue to you, label yourself as gay.
    You're not sexually attracted to women; you're sexually attracted to men. That's literally 'gay'.
    You can keep the rest of it to yourself (heteroromantic, feelings toward women, etc.).

    Also, very important - As you come more to terms with being gay, you will most likely become able to see yourself being in a long-term relationship with a guy.
    I felt the same way when I was first accepting my sexuality. I thought there was no way I could be in a relationship with a man, but when I found a man that I loved a lot, it became quite clear that it is something possible.
    It's not an easy shift to make, going from imagining a future with women to a future with guys, so just take your time and don't rush it.

    As others have said, labels are never 100% right. We're all too complex to fit into a category, but one of the many categories you'd fit in is gay, and that is the one that most folks pay attention to.
     
    #9 TJ, Mar 15, 2014
  10. Ebro1122

    Ebro1122
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    I agree with TJ. How do you feel about the label 'Homoflexible'?
     
    #10 Ebro1122, Mar 15, 2014
  11. Theron

    Theron
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    Then forego a label.

    You might be biromantic. You may be heteroromantic, homosexual. WHO KNOWS. If you start attaching labels you might end up where my best friend is: hetero demiromantic asexual....or even longer.
     
    #11 Theron, Mar 15, 2014
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