I came out as Bi two years ago, but I always had a feeling of I might be a lesbian. Before that when I was 11, my friend came and told me she thought she was a lesbian, at that time I was wondering if I was too. When she told me all I wanted to do was kiss her, but I didn't want to make things awkward so I pushed the thought to the back of my head and denied it. the past 6 months I've been trying to re-convince myself that I'm attracted to guys, because that's how I was raised, To have a husband, children, etc. I don't have any attraction to guys though. I can say "Oh he's good looking." but that's all. Nothing more. I haven't dated a guy in about 2 years, but I've dated 3 girls in that time, and it felt natural. With guys I feel it's so hard to keep a relationship going, but I have yet to have that feeling with a girl. I'm also scared about what my family will think. My parents don't mind homosexuals, we've had many family friends who were. But with them it's more of 'it's okay for them to be, just not my daughter.' I know deep down they won't mind, that they'll love me as much as they always have, but I also think that I'm using my families reactions as a barrier from the truth. I never told my parents about my relationships with my ex girlfriends, I was scared, and I never knew what to tell them or say, and I thought these desires would go away after a year or so, but they just keep coming back... I'm just really confused, and I apologize for this being so long. Thanks for any help in advance.
It sounds to me like you already know you are a lesbian. You said you don't feel anything for guys, but being with a girl feels natural. I think you need to figure out what will make you happy and go for it. You have already had experiences with girls and it felt natural to you. Take your time and don't feel rushed to come out to your family if you aren't ready to yet. Just think of the possibility and how you can go about it. If being with guys doesn't feel right to you then you shouldn't force it just because that's how you were raised. Keep talking here, there are lots of people here that will offer advice and support. This place is awesome for people like us to get the support we need to help us figure things out.
