Hey guys I'd really appreciate some opinions about my "sexuality". It started long ago when I was around 12-13. I couldn't imagine myself in a relationship at all, the idea sounded just weird. Though I wanted a girlfriend :/ and was getting aroused by girls (and guys, but I didn't recognise it). Let me also say that I am kind of emotionless (excluding the retarded laughs at stupid things). Here comes my "drama phase" which was over several months ago (whew). I had a crush (a boy) and I was obsessed with him. Thats the moment I realised girls don't attract me anymore and that led to depression and other stupid stuff. I wasn't comfortable with hiding who I am and felt that I am forced in the closed by the homophobic society in which I live. In this phase helped me my best friend (all-out lesbo) who gave me some really stupid advises and wasn't helpful most of the time but it was nice to have someone. Now my crush is gone and so is the inner drama. I am still in the closet and I no longer want to come out. I even think its wrong to and really dont feel any pressure. Again, I can't imagine myself with anyone though I get aroused by boys. I also don't want any kind of a boyfriend or a partner as a whole and am kinda disgusted by any romantic behavior at all. I now also see /sexual/ love as something really stupid and don't wanna get involved in it as a whole. And don't at all think it is wrong And don't wanna have sex. But still fantase about it. I occasionaly have a feeling I need a hug which fades after a couple of seconds. As a whole, yeah I am weird. Let me also say I haven't felt anger in my whole life. Please tell me if I do need a psychoterapeft.
