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Think i am gay. Any advice

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by staffsguy, Mar 14, 2014.

  1. staffsguy

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    hi all. I have recently, within the last 12 months, split from my wife. I had been having thoughts of being with a guy but never thought i would actually do anything.

    Well one night i was given the opportunity to experiment and to my surprise i actually really enjoyed the experience (kissing and oral) and found it more pleasurable then being with a woman.

    I have now also realized, after deciding to watch various short porn videos, that i no longer get aroused by seeing naked women but watching gay guys together.

    I feel that I am gay and If I am then am cool with that but I was just wondering If anyone else has experienced this.

    Any response would be good

    Thanks. :thumbsup:
     
  2. newfish

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    Do you still feel attracted to women? If so, I would guess bisexual. You say you had thoughts of being with a guy. Are you sexually attracted to men, or had you just wondered about it? I'm assuming the former, in which case you are at least bi, if not gay.
     
  3. Chip

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    Welcome. I'm going to disagree with the previous poster and guess that you're closer to gay. From what you've said, the experiences with men, and the arousal about men are much, much stronger than those to women, and my experience is that for people who are first coming out, they have to first validate and get in touch with their same-sex feelings, and then, often, they realize that the opposite-sex feelings they thought they had were more imposed by society and "what they're supposed to believe" than anything else.

    So yes, your experience is very, very common, and i think most people who come out a little later in life have similar experiences.
     
  4. Randy

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    I'm gonna back Chip up here and endorse the fact that, based upon the information that you have here, you are closer to gay than straight. The fact that you got with a man and quite enjoyed the experience backs the claim up and sort of justifies it in its entirety. Also, the fact that you find yourself not attracted to naked women but two guys getting together looks to be another sign that you are gay. Living in this heteronormative society, there is this pressure on us that liking the opposite sex is normal whereas being attracted to the same sex is weird. As a result, we grow up thinking that we are obligated to have feelings for the opposite sex when not everybody shares the same feelings as everyone else.

    I think what I'm trying to say is that this is completely normal and this situation resonates with me. I'm not saying at all that just because it resonated with me, it's going to be the same for you; however, know this: You are not alone, my friend.
     
  5. newfish

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    I completely forgot/skipped over the bit about not being attracted to naked women. Things slip my mind really easily. Reading over it again, I agree with Chip and Randy.
     
  6. staffsguy

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    Well thats the conclusion i have come to!. As I have already said that If I am gay then I am cool with that and other people will have to accept me for who I am.

    I have had to tell the ex wife about my feelings as we do have children together and we have to decide when to tell them. There are also a few select very close friends that I have spoken to about my feelings towards guys and they have been very understanding.

    Its now down to me, I feel, to fully accept who I am and get on and enjoy life as it now is.

    Thanks for all the comments it really is a big help.

    Cheers
     
  7. sexwax

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    If it's going to bring you happiness then be with a guy
     
  8. staffsguy

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    thanks sexwax. i must admit it was quite a revelation when i realized that it could be the case and it does feel like a weight has been lifted
     
  9. Jessica79

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    Hi I am going to agree with multiple sides here, you mentioned porn, many will tell you porn doesn't help in any way with deciding sexuality but I agree with Chip you seem more towards gay , maybe there is a hint of attraction to women your maybe kinsey 5? :slight_smile: