I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this type of thing or has any advice... I look at a girl and have a sexual thought then immediately my brain shies away. It's like I've been programmed (or programmed myself) to auto-censor all non-hetero thoughts. I've recently accepted the fact that I've been bisexual my whole life, but that awareness hasn't stopped this. I don't want to go through the rest of my life denying half of myself, I want to embrace every part of myself. I'm so frustrated!
I've been messaging a guy for 2 days I thought was cute and now he's talking to me I couldn't care less. I know EXACTLY what you mean...
I think this is one of those things that get better with time. Our brains get into a rut by thinking one way, and the more people think in different ways the easier it becomes.
Yeah, it sucks :/ If a girl I have might feelings for hugs me, I get tense and kind of block out a lot of my thoughts and feelings. Then, I look back and mentally slap myself for not letting myself just shut up and enjoy the hug. The brain works in such a way that a repetition will make the action easier- after a while, it becomes so natural and automatic that you find it difficult to not do it. This applies to so many other situations as well: For instance, I play piano. If, after weeks of practicing a piece, I find that I have been playing a wrong note, it is extremely difficult to fix the mistake because I have trained myself to play it that way. The only way to fix it in this situation is more repetition, but with the correct note. Bad habits are hard to fix.
