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Am I bisexual or gay?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Adaminski, Mar 16, 2014.

  1. Adaminski

    Regular Member

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    Hi! I'm new to this site and have a little problem on figuring out my orientation. I'm a 17 year old male and recently came out as bi to my lesbian sister only. But I've always known I've liked guys more than girls, physically and emotionally. However, I am still physically attracted to girls but there's no emotional connection there. I feel like I'm more able to keep a stable relationship with a guy rather than a girl, but I would also have sex with an attractive girl if given the chance. Does this make me gay or bi?
     
  2. BookDragon

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    Bi. with a preference for men.
     
  3. newfish

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    It sounds like you are bi with a preference for guys, or bisexual homoromantic.
     
  4. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    You could be bi. But the experience you're describing is also very common to people in the process of coming out and accepting themselves as gay; a desire to "not close the door" on straight relationships. There's often a lot of "well, I'm totally attracted to guys in every way, but I still find girls physically attractive, just not emotionally or sexually" and that's almost always an indication of someone in the process of accepting themselves.

    There are plenty of totally gay guys who can look at a girl and see that she's pretty. But that doesn't mean they have sexual attraction to her. If that's what you're describing, then it's more liklely you're gay. The "homoromantic/heteroromantic" labels are generally more confusing than useful, and can often delay the understanding and acceptance of who we truly are, so I generally don't encourage their use.

    The bottom line is... the label isn't important. I can understand the desire to know who you are, but it's something that, for many people, takes time to process and come to terms with, and there's nothign wrong with just being OK with whatever label you are comfortable with in the short term, and changing that label later.
     
  5. SemiCharmedLife

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    The line that I use is "I'm not so gay that I'd kick a beautiful woman out of my bed, but gay enough that I don't think I'll be bringing one there anytime soon."