Okay, why not. I’m going to share what my wish and fantasy are. Bleep it, here it is. My wish: I want to have an older gay man love me. In and out of bed. I want him to want to cuddle with me, hold me in his arms, kissing me, touching me. My fantasy: From where my wish ends, I want us to take off our cloths and him lay me down and make love to me. Not just have sex, but use sexual acts to make love to me with passion. In bed or where ever. Just take me and love me beyond where my wish ends. Sound stupid to some, but I am not bi or maybe gay because of sex. I am because this is what my heart loves. So I want love and yes, I want it from a man in a wish and fantasy. I am not sure if my boyfriend is going to be able to give me either of these. I am starting to have my doubts. Any thoughts or wishes / fantasies to share?
Maxwell45, what makes you doubt that? I've read some of your posts and I find your story very interesting. Plus, we share the same taste in older men. Until last summer I thought that having sex on the first date was the only way, everything else was just a waste of time. Then I met this man, and for various reasons we waited for one month before doing anything (not even a kiss). It felt AWESOME, we dated old school, got to know each other and built a very powerful sexual tension. When after one month we got down to it... WOW! It was magical. And I understood that waiting a bit is much better. Sex is very easy to get, if you want it just go to a sauna, pick a random a guy and there you have it. But making love is something else, and that's what I (and you, considering your words) are looking for. Nevertheless, I also think that waiting too much can be a problem, especially if you want it so bad as you point out. Also: I might be superficial, but sex is one of the first things I need to consider in a relationship. Relationships based on sex are usually doomed to fail, but if I am with a person and sex isn't good, well... It's not a thing. I want to have a monogamous relationship and I want to have good sex, so my partner has to rock my world in bed. If you're starting to have doubts, it might be because you are overthinking it. Then I could just suggest to get naked, make sweet love and release all the tension. You won't regret it.
@Ornoir29, I read what you wrote on my post and so click with it all. You have it all right about me and about yourself. I like the way you did it with your man and how much you enjoyed it. I want the same thing. I have thought about going to a gay hook up place just to get sex from a guy. I really do want sex with a guy. But, I want a guy to lay me down and make love to me to. Don’t think I will get loved in a gay sex hook up place. Just my sexual needs met. Plus, I never had sex with a guy before. There is tons of things I don’t know about. I want a guy who will understand that and help me in my first sex with him. My guy is great and all. But, I just get an odd feeling that something is off about him. Not sure what and that has me concern. If it was just a sexual thing, it would be different. Friends with benefits. But I want to be loved and made love to by a man. Not just a sex toy. Thought about it because I am in need of sex, but... Anyways, sorry. I actually just wanted to thank you for sharing and let you know you hit on everything right. Big plus and many enjoyments to you and your man.
These kind of feelings can stem from something real, or they can just be adjusting to being with a man. I read that your coming out is quite recent, so there's a fair chance for that. I can tell you that in my first relationship (when my self-acceptance was very limited), I often woke up in bed, looked at my boyfriend and thought "what the hell am I donig in bed with a man". With my new partner (and my path towards a complete self-acceptance), this feeling has almost completely faded away. However, if your instinct tells you "something is off", try to ask yourself what it is. Something he says? Something he does? Something about his past? I think relationships have to be built, and there are things that can be overcome only by talking.
