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I'm 35 and I just realized I'm a lesbian

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by BirdOfParadise, Mar 16, 2014.

  1. BirdOfParadise

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    After beeing in therapy for over a year, last week my therapist strongly hinted that I was a lesbian. He had tried to get me to talk about it in the past, and I had shut him down. But during last week's session, while he talked to me, my chest just burst. He was right.
    How is it possible that I hadn't noticed?
    I wondered many times if I was gay, but at the end of my mental processes, the answer had always been: not, just not interested in sex like the rest of the world. For example, I alwsays thought the female body was much more beautiful than the male body, but I attributed it to the fact that everybody thought the same, because it is in fact more harmonic and aesthetic and sensual... do you see what I mean?
    I've been reviewing my life under lesbian-glasses, and I am definitely gay. I've been free falling for a week now. But I just don't understand myself. Everything adds up, I know now. But I have no problem with being gay.... then why did it take me 35 years?
    I love gay people, I have many gay friends and co-workers, I've been to gay proud parades. So, if I can accept homosexuality in others, why couldn't I accept it on myself.
    Anyhow, I feel relief now, because now I know who I am. I always felt "out of place and time" but couln't figure out what was wrong with me. Now I know that there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just gay.
     
  2. stocking

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    Hi it's nice to meet you I'm 25 and learned I was lesbian 4 months ago it just takes some of time
    I felt like you all my life I didn't know what was wrong with me why I didn't like sex like other teens why I liked women so much . It feels good to know doesn't ? now I can finally be at peace and it feels good
     
  3. lovely lesbian

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    Hello I just found I was gay not that ago either so don't worry I'm 28 I like you always thought the female body was beautiful and thought nothing of it.
     
  4. AmiBee

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    Congrats on the realization. Hugs.
     
  5. AmiBee

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    Congrats on the realization and hugs. If you've never seen But I'm a Cheerleader, you should. There is a scene where the main character realizes she's a lesbian. I think you'd appreciate it.
     
  6. paris

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    Congrats. I realized I like women at the same age as you. The best you can do is to stop wondering why it took you so long and don't beat yourself up over it. Sometimes you have to meet the right woman to even consider you might be attracted to the same sex, or to watch a movie, or read a book, etc.... everyone's different, you know. :icon_wink
     
  7. ornoir29

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    I think exactly the opposite: to me, there is something much nicer about the male body, so you see... It's not really like everybody thinks that way :slight_smile:

    I knew it since I was 15 years old but it took me 10 years to accept it. It's a slow process, and it depends on how you're built, your upbringing, your environment, your image of yourself, your expectations about life, and much more...
     
  8. deejay

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    Hi there! Congratulations on your realization. I'm 33 years old and I came out last year as BiSexual to a few trusted friends of mine. And right now, I myself is confused because I', thinking right now that I maybe lesbian. But I knew there's something different in me since I was 7 yrs. old, I just tried to denied it in my entire adolescent life.

    So, there's nothing wrong if we just all realized it now. It's never too late. =)
     
  9. silverhalo

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    Hey don't worry I didn't work it out until I was in my mid twenties, I know it can make you feel stupid I mean it did me but you shouldn't feel bad it's just the way it is. If you need any help feel free to write on my wall.
     
  10. BirdOfParadise

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    Thank you all so much! So... I'm not alone :slight_smile:
    Time is very valuable, I really appreciate you took yours to read and/or reply. You guys just made my day.
    These past few days have been so intense!
    Again, thank you for your thoughts and advices.
     
  11. anaisninja

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    Congratulations! You are not alone. There are many of us "late bloomers" out here. I envy you because you are learning this at 35. I only just learned it at 50! You said you are still in free-fall mode. Just relax and practice good self care during this time. Don't make any major decisions or rush into anything new. Like any life transition, or awakening, there is a period of adjustment. While some doors are opening, it also means some doors are closing. You may go through a period of grief, and that's okay. After all, grief is nothing more than adjusting to a new reality. Be kind to yourself.

    Myself, I am going through my "lesbian adolescence." Remember when you were 14 and boy-crazy? It was a scary, exhilarating, and sometimes bittersweet phase of new discoveries. It's exciting, isn't it? I found a local support group just for other women in the same boat; you may be able to find one too.

    Anyway, take your time and enjoy the ride. Welcome to the tribe! :slight_smile:
     
  12. MfromA

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    This is basically equivalent to what I've been going through. I'm 37 by the way. At first I thought I was a late blooming heterosexual, then an asexual, but all the while I was looking at men. I didn't consider myself gay because I wasn't going for sex with men. Finally, for the last few months I've been coming to terms with the idea that I'm gay. For me there wasn't a big moment of revelation, just a long process of introspection and recognition that is far from over.