I am entering my late twenties and I've always identified as straight, dating only men. However, I have always strongly fantasized sexually about and I have always been attracted to women. I've reached the point in my life where I don't feel very attracted to men and I don't feel emotionally close to them when I date. I find myself wondering what it would be like to have a relationship with a woman even though I've never dated or had any experience with women. I feel very confused and I think I'm starting to get that gut feeling that I am gay, but I am so unsure of everything and the idea of actually being gay is all so new to me. Has anyone else ever felt this way and what helped you? Thank you so much!! I'm sorry if I sound stupid I just feel very lost.
Well first of all, welcome to EC! Everyone on here is totally awesome and will definitely help you if you need anything else. Everyone on this website was lost at one time or another, it is part of the process that comes with questioning and realizing that you are (or are not) gay. It is not surprising that you are confused in that regard. First of all, this is not something you need to rush at all, take your time thinking through your feelings and figuring everything out. To break it down, if you are really feeling that strongly about women then it sounds like you are "non-straight." There. the process has been started not so bad is it? (pardon my bad sarcasm) Anyway, you will possibly receive advice contradictory to this but I strongly, strongly advocate exploring some "experiences" with women. Maybe a little harder to do at your age rather than mine, but I have found that that clears up your thoughts on who you are attracted to pretty quickly. Maybe start actively checking out women and seeing how you feel compared to checking out men. Since you are so early in the decision making it is hard to give you much other advice for the moment. Just keep coming back here and posting your thoughts and feelings and people will help you. I think your gut feeling is a good thing to go on but again, starting exploring and don't rush yourself, It took my 5 years to figure out I was not completely straight Good luck! If you have any questions just message me, I would be happy to help.
^ Everything he said! Also, your experience sounds a lot like mine. I've dated men all my life but recently started realizing I'm really attracted to women. You might want to consider whether you're bisexual--if you have had genuine attractions to men in the past, you may not be gay. Being bi means going through periods where you like men or women more sometimes. It changes a lot, and if you are bi, being exclusively attracted to women right now doesn't have to mean you're gay. Wait things out and try to see whether you have been genuinely attracted to men in the past. I don't feel much of a connection men right now but I know I'm still bi--I just happen to like women more at this period in time. Take things slow and don't pressure yourself. You will figure it all out in time and right now the label isn't everything--just enjoy what you like! Best of luck!
What you're going through is what I went through before I came out basically sex with women is far more satisfying emotionally and physically
I think you shouldn't be concerned about labelling yourself. Follow your instincts. There's no need to rush yourself. Many people are open minded these days - if any of your friends fall into that catagory then ask if they would check out the "scene" a bit so you can explore your feelings a bit? (The scene as in your local gay scene, nor HER scene if you follow me.)
Hey don't worry EC is a great place. Try not to worry too much, I know that is easier said than done but it will be ok, you will work it out. What is it you are most confused about?
