Hello, I identify myself as straight. I have a girlfriend, everything is good there and I really like her. I have doubted my sexuality at different times during my life and it keeps coming back at me. This week it has re emerged as I have been hungover and depressed. It seems when I get down or anxious I start to worry about my sexuality and then start to look at guys in a different way. Not quite aroused but I definitely notice them more. It's almost like a fear. It's strange that this comes up when I get anxious. I'm not sure if I fear being gay and when I worry about other things, I transfer my worries onto this. Maybe I am a bit gay and don't want to admit it in myself. A sort of latent homosexuality that I try to ignore. FML
Good. Romantically it's been good. Sexually good too. Although she's cut the strings on that lately which is part of my problem at the moment I think.... but I often get hard when she just walks into the room. I used to have issues sexually with girls due to anxiety. I suffered from low self esteem also. I think these issues caused me to originally doubt my sexuality.
Well, it seems clear that you have an attraction to women. Since you say that the thoughts you've been having about men don't arouse you, what would be an example of some of these thoughts or feelings?
Intitally I start to check to see what my reaction is and if I'm attracted to them. Then I will notice them more. If I go to the gym for example I will notice the big muscle guys wearing vests. Yesterday I saw a muscly guy and thought what would it be like to be with him.
It sounds as though it is more of a curiosity than an attraction. Though that's not necessarily to say that nothing could come of it later. I just wouldn't worry about it too much. It is possible that you aren't completely heterosexual, but you don't have to be completely heterosexual to be content in a heterosexual relationship as long as your heterosexual attractions remain strong. Should you attractions ever shift completely, or you find yourself still having these slight curiosities when you're single, then experimenting with other guys might be something to consider. Until either of those scenarios arises, I wouldn't worry about it.
