I've considered myself a lesbian for just over 4 years now and struggled with it a lot (homophobic family and all that) so I have dated 2 guys before, though neither relationship went very far because I just couldn't be sexually attracted to them, despite reallly, really liking them as more than friends. I remember wishing that I was bisexual because then I could at least have the chance at living the life my parents want me to. But recently I've stopped being so sure about being a lesbian after all. I mean, I regularly notice how attractive guys are, despite mostly never being actually attracted to them. But I feel like right now, I'm 'crushing' on a guy and even though I don't really like the idea of sex with him at the moment, I feel like the closer I get to him, the more it seems like one day I might be alright with it. I just really don't understand what's going on right now and it's taken me so long to try and sortof accept myself being the way I am and now it's all messed up again. :/ Any advice would be great, thanks.
Maybe you're a biromantic homosexual? You don't have to be sexually attracted to someone to like them as more than just friends. My advice would be to just ditch the labels if you're really confused about your sexuality. You like who you like, and hopefully you'll see a pattern one day. Maybe not. Another thing to note is that bisexuals don't necessarily like men and women 50/50. You could have an overwhelmingly stronger preference for women, but still have an attraction to men. If you're positive that you feel sexually attracted exclusively towards women, but feel romantically attracted to both then I stand by my guess of you being a biromantic homosexual.
That makes some sense, I think. To be honest, since I've never actually had sex with a guy or a girl, I don't know 100% whether I would be sexually attracted to a guy when in the situation. But if I am biromantic homosexual, does that basically mean that I really shouldn't start dating the guy I like? Because it wouldn't be fair to him if I might never be physically attracted? Thanks for the advice, really helps.
You're very welcome ~ And to answer your question, not at all! Not all relationships need sex to work, but if that's what you're looking for, then idk. Like you said, since you haven't actually had sex before, you should keep your options open. Maybe you're the type to feel romantically attracted to someone before any sexual attraction sets in. If you like a guy, you like him, labels be damned. There are always exceptions, I think.
Thanks a lot for answering and being so helpful, I guess I'll just see where it goes and let it happen how it will then.
Straight people can notice how attractive a same-gender person is - I've heard straight girls talk about how attractive a female celebrity is. So a gay person can probably notice the attractiveness of the opposite gender without being attracted to them.
I get that, and I've been sure that there's no attraction there most times, but this time there seems to be something. Potential attraction, maybe.
I agree with Sasha's advice. Also, I think needing a label can hold people back. If you like him, go out and see how it goes. If it turns out not to be a good fit, break it off early on. Just don't let a label restrict your feelings for anyone regardless of gender. And, as long as you are single, be open to whatever possibilities interest you.
