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Do people truly love or fancy a certain group of people or are they indoctrinated?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by BearLover, Mar 22, 2014.

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  1. BearLover

    BearLover Guest

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    So a lot of people say something like "I fancy girls" or "I fancy girls my own age" or even "I fancy boys." but surely they are indoctrinated to believe that they only fancy a group of people and can't be attracted to older woman or older men, anyone else out of that group.

    People think they have some kind of attraction to a group of people, people are indoctinated to believe they are straight and are unwilling to try anything else out because they presume they wouldn't like to date anyone other than their group of people that they were told they were attracted to, usually it's someone of the same age and opposite sex, they say this is "normal".

    But surely people aren't actually attracted to everyone their own age and the opposite sex, it is more likely that people are attracted to all sorts of people. For example, I like some older men and some older woman but I rarely like people my own age, few people turn me on my own age. I like men that are 40 to 70 years old and maybe older depending on whether they are handsome, I think there's an age limit though for me, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't date a 100 year old woman.

    I've actually had my eye on one guy my age, I don't think I was actually attracted to him. I think it's possible that I could meet someone my own age whether they are male or female and be attracted to them.

    When I say I like older men people instantly think I like all older men, I don't, some are really not attractive and quite off putting. I know I am attracted to older woman and I have been attracted to girls my own age before, when I was younger, I even thought about a guy my age but I don't think I was attracted.

    So does that mean we can find any type of person attractive? It's more about the individual rather than the group that we think we are attracted to.
     
    #1 BearLover, Mar 22, 2014
  2. ThePhoenix

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    Re: Do people truly love or fancy a certain group of people or are they indoctrinated

    I think it depends on the individual. We all have preferences and what attracts us but those things can change. So I do believe we can find anyone attractive it just depends on the individuals themselves.
     
    #2 ThePhoenix, Mar 22, 2014
  3. YuriBunny

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    Re: Do people truly love or fancy a certain group of people or are they indoctrinated

    I think it depends on the person.
     
    #3 YuriBunny, Mar 22, 2014
  4. Zeta Male

    Zeta Male
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    Re: Do people truly love or fancy a certain group of people or are they indoctrinated

    I'm a big time believer in nuture over nature. At one point in time in some cultures everyone was almost 100% pansexual and falling in love with close familys members was commonplace. Its all about the society you're raised in.
     
    #4 Zeta Male, Mar 22, 2014
  5. sldanlm

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    Re: Do people truly love or fancy a certain group of people or are they indoctrinated

    I think that our upbringing and society encourages us to like a certain age group, or not like, but that only goes so far. Sometimes it's for a good reason. For example, a 16 yr old girl with a 30 yr old man might be perfectly legal in most places, that doesn't make it right. A 54 yr old man with a 40 yr old woman is the same age difference, but more socially acceptable. Eventually though it's what the individual thinks that counts.
     
    #5 sldanlm, Mar 22, 2014
  6. ChromeNerd

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    Re: Do people truly love or fancy a certain group of people or are they indoctrinated

    I definitely have a type, but I've also felt attracted to people who aren't exactly my type.
     
    #6 ChromeNerd, Mar 22, 2014
  7. IG88

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    Re: Do people truly love or fancy a certain group of people or are they indoctrinated

    I think it depends on the individual. The majority of people are attracted to younger people, or at least youthful looking people (not talking about minors here). I think that since most people are attracted to youthful features, that this has become the norm, not because society pressures people to do so. Differences in age become less obvious the older the couple is (50yr old with 65yr old vs. 20yr old with 35yr old ... both 15yr difference) - this appears to be socialized, but it still doesn't stop the attractions from happening between these couples.
     
    #7 IG88, Mar 23, 2014
  8. CharlsOn

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    Re: Do people truly love or fancy a certain group of people or are they indoctrinated

    I have no real type. And I also think it depends on the individual itself and society and maybe even the family. But there are so many different people out there so you can't say this for the whole mankind:grin:
     
    #8 CharlsOn, Mar 23, 2014
  9. BearLover

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    Re: Do people truly love or fancy a certain group of people or are they indoctrinated

    It makes me think that people rarely follow their heart.

    Think about how many people do a job they don't like and act they like they enjoy it, few people follow their passion, most people do what they feel they have to do, which is a trap.

    It's actually quite funny how people think they can dictate the "Correct" or "Right" way to live life when they don't follow their hearts themselves and probably aren't happy deep down. Their is no "correct" or "right" way to live life, it's all based on interpretation and is subjective, which is biased towards the culture we live in. Remember the ancient greeks, many of them were bisexual because they were told that it was good to be in love with men, the men had to protect their partners in war, they would fight harder for their lovers.

    I know people would have a problem with me dating an older man, because it's not "normal". Life would be so much better if people just lived and let live, at least I could enjoy time with my boyfriend without people giving their opinion in public, people wouldn't be happy with me to date an older man. They would make me feel as if I were a freak to do so...
     
    #9 BearLover, Mar 23, 2014
  10. Straight ally

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    Re: Do people truly love or fancy a certain group of people or are they indoctrinated

    Well, i think is a mix of nurture vs nature, and even the effect of the nurture depends a loy on the nature of the individual.

    For example i have a tendency to like pale brunnetes, a lot. But i dont see how could i be indoctrinated in that direction.
     
    #10 Straight ally, Mar 23, 2014
  11. Ebro1122

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    Re: Do people truly love or fancy a certain group of people or are they indoctrinated

    I tried being sexually/romantically attracted to men but its just not in me to do so. I don't think everybody is capable of being bisexual or pansexual (if that's what your driving at). But I have had a crush on a woman who was atleast twice my age. It was unexpected but she was still within the gender I'm drawn to.
     
    #11 Ebro1122, Apr 12, 2014
  12. stocking

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    Re: Do people truly love or fancy a certain group of people or are they indoctrinated

    I don't think it's that I'm indoctrinated because I tried to be straight for most of my life from trying to have relationships with guys trying to trying to enjoy sex with one nothing worked . So I don't believe this at all because you would be undermining a lot of people who had tried very hard to be straight and fit in and just couldn't feel anything for the opposite sex . so I don't like when people say this and try to push the everyone is straight card . I even got told by my friend I didn't try hard enough to be straight and need to have sex with more men
     
    #12 stocking, Apr 12, 2014
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