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Is it okay if I don't want to experiment with the opposite sex?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Karabeara, Mar 24, 2014.

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  1. Karabeara

    Karabeara
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    When you're questioning your sexuality everyone tells you to experiment with both and see what you like better. The thing is though that I don't want to experiment with boys. I feel that I could never really have a truthful relationship with them. I also just don't want to be seen as straight when I know I'm not. When people say to just wait I'll figure it out it bugs me because I feel like I can't be in a relationship when I'm not sure who I want to be with. Is this normal? Is it okay to not want to experiment with boys?
     
    #1 Karabeara, Mar 24, 2014
  2. afroblackbi

    afroblackbi
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    You don't need to be in a relationship to experiment. Just get a male buddy who is close enough to be your boyfriend but technically isn't and have fun. You'll get to experience if you really want to be with a boy or not. Experimenting doesn't mean you need to do anything sexual. Just get close enough and see.

    I hope I made some sense
     
    #2 afroblackbi, Mar 24, 2014
  3. Chip

    Chip
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    When someone (let's say your mom) uses the "How can you know if you haven't been with a boy" the best response is "Well, did you try being with a girl?" Usually that will shut them up.

    The point is... you absolutely don't have to be with someone of the opposite sex to know for sure you're gay, just as you don't have to be with someone of the same sex to reassure yourself you're straight.

    This is something you can tell from your own attractions, arousal, and self-awareness. Do what feels right to *you*, not what someone else dictates you "should" do :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Chip, Mar 24, 2014
  4. AmiBee

    AmiBee
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    I agree with Chip 100 percent. You don't need to be with someone of the same sex or opposite sex sexually to understand your sexual orientation. Do only what feels right to you.
     
    #4 AmiBee, Mar 24, 2014
  5. Pottenkind

    Pottenkind
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    If you don't feel any attraction to the opposite sex, you're not obliged to try anything with them.

    You don't owe anyone anything when it comes to your sex life. You're not asking them to sleep with someone are you? :wink:

    To keep it short: Yes, it's perfectly fine. Love whoever you want to love. :slight_smile:
     
    #5 Pottenkind, Mar 24, 2014
  6. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    All excellent points above; I will add this: other people do not exist as subjects in your experiment, they have feelings and rights and should be treated with respect.

    Even if they may agree that there are no strings attached, relating to someone on such an intimate level can be very powerful, overwhelming and ultimately unpredictable in the realm of feelings.
     
    #6 greatwhale, Mar 24, 2014
  7. stocking

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    You don't have to if you do experiment with both sexes to know your sexuality I wish I didn't I would have been better off
     
    #7 stocking, Mar 24, 2014
  8. IsThisAName

    IsThisAName
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    What everyone else said. Don't feel like you have to do something you don't want to do. If you know you do not like men, then don't force yourself to be with one just to prove a point to others. You don't have to be with a man to know whether you're gay. It's something you will just come to know. Best of luck :slight_smile:
     
    #8 IsThisAName, Mar 24, 2014
  9. Karabeara

    Karabeara
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    Actually my mom's bisexual but I get what you're saying. Thanks for the responses and just so you guys know I wasn't talking about sex right now I'm only 14 so I've got a while to go. I don't have any guy friends so that doesn't work and I know others have feelings and I'm not stomping on anyone's heart or anything. That's actually what I'm trying to avoid by asking you guys this question. Thanks
     
    #9 Karabeara, Mar 24, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2014
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