So... I have begun to semi-accept the idea that I am bi, or conceivably homoromantic/heterosexual. The thing that still bothers me is the notion that acknowledging this new idea would lead to a shift in my personality. In a sense I believe that letting myself continue to explore who I am is the right thing to do, but I'm afraid that doing so will continue my worries and anxieties of people treating me differently if I don't identify as heterosexual. Caring so much what other people think of me has been a huge struggle of mine. What should I do?
Oh I see. Well if anything about you changes from accepting yourself than that was who you really were all along so 'you' never changed so much as you just became more genuinely you ^^ As to worrying about how others will treat you...I'm not sure exactly what to say here. I mean honestly it doesn't matter what other people think, the only opinion that should matter is your own. Though I don't imagine it's easy to just turn off your 'what will other people think?' button so easily. The best I can offer is just take it one step at a time ^^
You say that you're concerned that accepting yourself will lead to a shift in your personality. Remember that you are still the same person as before--you have just now made the decision to accept yourself instead of repress your true feelings. I assure you that any change in your personality will be for the better. You will be happier in that sense because you will no longer be lying to yourself about who you are. I speak from experience on that
Think of it this way if you were to know you only had one week to live would you be worried about what people think then of would you live your life to the fullest? You need to think that way that life is too short to give a fuck what people who may or may not be around for you the rest of your life
There are a couple of important pieces here. First, if people want treat you differently because you're bi or gay... well, there isn't much you can do about that. And anyone who does judge you for that isn't someone that you should really care about. Second (related to the first...) being yourself, and llving and acting authentically, is pretty much a requirement of living a full and happy life. So this means that if you're bi or gay, trying to hide that so that people will treat you a particular way isn't going to work. You'll spend your life "fitting in" and that creates a tremendous amount of shame, which is incredibly unhealthy. The last piece is your statement about caring so much about what others think of you. This is a sign of really deep shame; instead of loving yourself for who you are, seeing yourself as beautiful and loveable exactly as you are, you spend your life trying to make sure that others like you. Again, this is a game of "fitting in" rather than finding the place where you belong. All of this is pretty common among people just starting to work on and understand who they are. The important thing is to realize that you're a worthwhile person exactly as you are, without needing to pretend to be something your're not for the benefit of others. I'd suggest taking some about a half hour and watching these two TED talks. I think they may help to start you thinking in a different direction. [youtube]iCvmsMzlF7o[/youtube] [youtube]_UoMXF73j0c[/youtube]
