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Gay w/ straight tendencies?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by MDNA, Mar 25, 2014.

  1. MDNA

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    Hello everyone.
    I am back here in this forum again cuz i need a little help.
    So, last year I came out to some ppl as gay. Like 5-6. Some are close, some not so much, cuz i just wanted a vent.

    The thing is i have found some girls attractive in the past but i never watched str8 porn or stuff like that. But recently i saw soft soft porn accidentally while watching a tv show.
    So, recently i realized that boobs turn me on. (Sorry for being explicit :redface: ).

    I am friends with a gay guy online, (from a completely different country, age group, background etc). I told him what if i am gay with straight tendencies. He told me that there's no such thing and that you can only be gay, straight or bi. I told him that i could be a 5 on Kinsley scale ( you know, "usually attracted to the same sex, but attracted to the other sex once in a while" ), to which he said that the scale isnt scientific. He believes that i am subconsciously making myself like str8 stuff. (Yes, I still kinda dont like being gay and wish i wasnt. :| )

    Do u think that a gay person can have straight tendencies? Am I gay or perhaps bi?
    What am I?
    Also, now that I've come out as gay, what will I do if i turn out to bea bi :frowning2:
    I'd really appreciate it if i could get an opinion.
     
  2. valerie247

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    Im just now exploring how complicated human attractions are, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but you may be bisexual, but its also entirely possible that youre not. Can you see yourself in emotional, romantic relationships with women and men, or do you really only have a desire for relationships with men? Sexuality is a continuum, in my opinion. I have met gay men who find women a huge turn off, and other gay men who think women can be a turn on, but rarely, and not enough to want to be with them. Ive also met people of many orientations who find all porn erotic, no matter who its featuring. It doesnt change who they actually want to be with though. Even if you are bisexual, it doesnt change who you ARE. It just changes a label for describing yourself to others. You have always been you and that hasnt changed.
     
  3. BelleFromHell

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    I think you would be considered homoflexible, meaning you're mostly attracted to the same-sex, but with a few exceptions.
     
  4. MDNA

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    Hmm.. but idk if I'd like to have sex wth women.. U know?
    Its difficult to explain .. idk
     
  5. Chip

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    Hi,

    What you're describing isn't unusual, particularly for people who are trying to figure themselves out.

    First, it's quite possible you're somewhere on the spectrum between "completely gay" and "completely straight"

    But it's also quite possible that the part of you that doesn't want to be gay is in the "bargaining" stage of accepting that you're gay (stages of loss, denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance) and that would look like "Well, I know I like guys, but I find girls attractive too, so maybe I can still end up married to a woman and have a normal life."

    What leans me more toward the latter is the idea that you don't sound interested in sex with women. There are lots of gay guys that can see the attractiveness of women and appreciate a beautiful female body, but have zero interest in having sex with them.

    So one thing that helps is to look at your sexual (masturbatory) fantasies. When you masturbate without porn... do you find yourself thinking about guys, or girls, or both? If you genuinely fantasize and get aroused thinking about women, then you've got sexual attraction to them. If you don't, then it's more likely you're gay.
     
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  6. MDNA

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    Hi. Thank you for replying.
    I have noticed that I have fallen for guys emotionally a couple of times, and not just physically (which is most of the time... I'm a virgin btw). I am not really sure how I feel about girls. I think that I might fall for them too. I'm not sure. I have been in really good friendships with girls; 1 or 2 to the point of being romantic, but i never felt towards them the kind of attraction I;ve felt towards boys. I would like someone to take care of me, where I could give in. I dont know if you've got the idea. That's why I feel like I'm somewhere between a bi and gay. But like I said in my main post, my friend believes that i that's not possible.
     
  7. Fallingdown7

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    I think the real question here is are you interested in sex or romantic relationships with women.

    Porn isn't always the best indicator....people are capable of getting turned on by anything. You can still be gay if you have no desire for women elsewhere, or you can be a curious/homoflexible guy.
     
  8. MDNA

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    Hi! Thanks for replying Chip :slight_smile:

    The thing is I came to terms with myself last year. Like i said above, I even came out to ppl. Even now that I'm having 2nd thoughts, I know that the part of me that longs for guys is bigger than the part of me that longs for girls (if it actually does.. idk). So, I dont think I can marry a woman, and later on spoil her life.
    You're right. Honestly I've never imagined having sex with a woman and I do not think about them while masturbating. It just feels kind of wrong and makes me cringe. But usually I masturbate to at least soft-core pictures of men.

    ---------- Post added 31st Mar 2014 at 12:08 AM ----------

    Like I said above, I've been in really close friendship with girls but they never reached a point were it was a full blown romance or anything. I did develop a certain emotional attraction, but honestly, I cannot understand where to put it - a connection between people of like mindedness, an attraction for their personality and values as a human being, or attraction originating from opposite sex. I know it sounds very stupid, but I cannot understand myself.
     
  9. stocking

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    I know i'll get flack for this but I think a gay person and a striaight person can be curious and try things with the opposite and same sex . I maybe that's where homoflexible might come into play .

    but if your gay or lesbian and your having sex occasionally with the opposite sex there is clearly something you like about the opposite sex that's why you keep going back to it . I'm only stating this if your gay , or lesbian and probably have some attraction to the opposite .
    not for people who might have internalize homophobia I'm not talking about them .

    But I think for people like that who are gay and have sex with the opposite from time to time after accepting the fact that their gay but sleep with the opposite in secret or whatever and use the term homoflexible where they used the example I find the opposite sex attractive sometimes to the point where would have sex with them or it the opportunity for me to have sex with someone of the opposite a rises I will take it .
    To me homoflexible in this context is a fancy way of saying I'm bi but I like the same sex more . that's how I see it I say call yourself whatever you want if it works for you . :slight_smile:

    I think in your case your just curious and to be honest I wouldn't take getting turned on by anything in porn seriously because it's a terrible indicator of some's sexuality . I think if it was in real life you get turned on by a woman's boobs then take it into account but not from porn .
     
    #9 stocking, Mar 30, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2014
  10. MDNA

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    hi
    :slight_smile:
    i do not quite understand the term homoflexible because its new to me.

    In reality, i only check out guys (ooooh those thick arms :icon_redf :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:)
    i rarely notice girls that way, and dont check out there boobs as such
     
  11. stocking

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    Maybe you just get turned on by them in porn but porn can make you get turned on by things you don't even like or don't want to do
     
  12. MDNA

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    i dont understand that.
    How can i be turned on by something but not actually like it? :bang: confusing..
     
  13. stocking

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    Well for instance some people get turned on watching animals have sex but it doesn't me they want to have sex with the animal they just like the sex act that they saw
     
  14. YuriBunny

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    Like Falling said, "people are capable of getting turned on by anything"- regardless of their sexual orientation.
     
  15. stocking

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    I'm one of them :slight_smile: wait does this mean i'm more fluid ?:confused:
     
  16. YuriBunny

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    Not necessarily.
     
  17. stocking

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    Thanks yuri :slight_smile:
     
  18. ajwad

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    I think you are Bi-curious
     
  19. MDNA

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    Ewww isnt that bestiality or whatever :eek:

    Yeah.. i do have considered tht
    i looked through internet to find sum1 who encountered same stuff but to no avail :|
    am i a freak?
     
  20. stocking

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    I don't wanna have sex with the animals I just like watching them do what they do