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Unsure and Stressed

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Turtle Crossing, Mar 30, 2014.

  1. Turtle Crossing

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    Sometimes not sure where I'm at. My sexuality is something I've struggled with for a long time. I've always felt more sexually attracted to men, but have found myself getting crushes on women. I've spent a lot of time alone afraid to really find out who I am. It has taken quite a toll on my happiness and well being. I find myself wanting to be attracted to women, but just don't feel the connection. I've considered experimenting, but it feels dishonest. I've been hesitant to explore my attraction to men out of fear of rejection from friends and family and I've gotten so used to repressing my feelings. I tend to be very reserved when dealing with anyone and it makes moving forward a challenge. Feeling stuck. Any words of advice?
     
  2. questioning25

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    What is your living situation? I can't say I'm the one to help you (I have my own problems... well, we all do). But what seems to have helped: 1) Moving away from home, to another city, where there's no one from "the old country". 2) A good therapist (I also have my fair share of social anxiety). 3) Relationships with people (woman or men) helps sort through feelings (obviously... and dating websites can help also). It also helps to know that I don't have to label myself yet, and can take my time.
     
  3. Turtle Crossing

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    I moved back to my hometown after college, but live on my own now. I have been going to therapy for my anxiety which does seem to help some. I've mentioned to my therapist that I was questioning my sexuality but I tend to steer our conversations away from that topic. I want to talk about it more, but the topic makes me feel vulnerable. I know I need to find some way to face it.
     
  4. questioning25

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    I find it helps me when we cover both social and "sexual anxiety" simultaneosly, not because one necesarily follows from the other, but because both are needed to get to what I'm feeling (half the time my anxiety comes from my fear of being gay, the other half just from a horribly low sense of self worth). Perhaps one step at a time? You don't need to face it all at once, just take gradual steps in the right direction..

    (but then, maybe not: I'm not an expert! It's what I'm doing, anyway..)
     
  5. Turtle Crossing

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    Addressing both is probably a good idea. I would say its a major source of my anxiety as well.