Concerning "love"

Concerning "love"(whatever that is), has anyone ever felt the following (I assume yes)? In middle/highschool (and sporadically after) I'd get really infatuated with another person, or with some fantasy. The best feelings came when I was lying in bed, the half hour before I went to sleep and the hour (or 2) after I awoke. It always felt very mind splitting, sort of like (I like to describe it this way) Inception, when DiCaprio's character got lost for decades in his head with another person. Especially waking up; I spent hours, (and still spend a few here and there) wrapped in a blanket, letting thoughts of the other person wash over me. It's very spontaneous; I can't easily make it happen (when I try, it often feels staged).

So, enough with that . Just curious if people can relate. As a side note, I'm male (as it happens); the above feelings have always involved woman (and they've always included, indeed required, an erection, but very rarely a "consumation", because that would've stopped whatever I was feeling). I am, however, questioning, and do get turned on/attracted to other men. I'd like to say that I'm not closed off to feeling this way for men. I never have, as it happens, and I don't know if that's because I'm "repressing" something, because it simply isn't in my biochemical "nature", or because I haven't waited long enough/had enough experiences. As far as real world, person to person, physical attraction, I've been with two woman, and yes, with the first of those, I did feel some of the above feelings (we spent too many hours cuddling on Central Park lawns for that not to have happened).

 

I was really good at making it last as a teen. There were weeks when I'd spend most of the day just going through the motions, in anticipation for the "actual day" to start. Very melodramatic . And again, an analogy to Inception. Now, it happens once every two months, at best..