Not being able to understand my sexuality is making me miserable. I stopped "obsessing" about my sexuality and started living my life again only to become confused again. I went to see an old friend who is male and extremely fit (I have a thing for built guys). He triggered my feelings for men and for the past week I have been thinking mostly about guys. But then, when I'm bored these thoughts of me living my life with a woman come back. They make absolutely no sense because I am NOT sexually attracted to women. I could have sex with a woman and have but its way better with a man. I do have a weird desire to have sex with women though, but I'm not turned on, I've tried so many times. My fantasies are about men or solo women or even lesbians. I've tired to think of myself with a woman but it just doesn't work. It's really frustrating. My sexual feelings for men are really intense. I've played this game before when I was with a few women, my longing for a man took over everything and I had to leave those relationships. I thought that the reason why I was thinking this was because I was lonely, so I started talking to my girlfriends and letting myself "cling" to them. I thought I was in love with a friend and she filled my need for a woman for a while, but now I'm getting bored and want to look for someone else. I seem to get bored of women really fast. It just seems like there is no where out of this. Yes, I have intense lusty feelings for guys but as those feelings lose their intensity I start looking back at women...and vice versa. This is so exhausting and has taken over my life =(
