Hello, ya'll can call me Zeru. For the past few months i've been mentally exhausting myself over trying to figure out my true sexual orientation. I'm a female and I openly love girls. My only ever relationship was actually with a girl and we dated for almost 3 years. We broke up just 2 months ago. My big problem is I can't figure out my orientation. I Know I prefer girls over any gender, and just thinking about them can make me extremely giddy and fluttery. I just really like them! However I really can't decide what I feel about men. 2 days ago one of my good guy friends asked me to be his girlfriend and after 3 hours of frantically asking people advice, I said okay. I was sure to tell him I didn't know how I felt about men and that I'm genuinely more attracted to women. I told him I honestly didn't know if it would work out but it sounded fun so if he still wanted to try I was game for it. I'm honestly scared to death that i'm going to break this guys heart. ;n; However when I was talking to my sister she told me I probably should just give it a shot to try and explore myself a little more. She told me that she really wish she had dated more when she was young. I admit it might be good for me because I've only ever been in 1 relationship and i'm about to turn 22 but I feel bad for some reason...I already know I don't want to spend my life with this guy and I told him i'm not looking for anything to serious right now. I want to be sure not to lead him on at all. I'm really confused...I know people date without the intent of marring that person but idk I just feel bad for not wanting to be serious. I've had sexual relations with two guys before through threesomes that involved my ex girlfriend and I can honestly say I'm not entirely sure i'm that attracted to men. When i'm with a girl it just feels really fun! but if it's a guy I feel like it's work. However I've had a experience with another girl before and it felt the same way. The only person i've ever had a lot of fun with when we had sex was my ex-girlfriend. Hell we both still find each other attractive but we both agree that we don't love each other anymore, only as friends. I guess i'm confused on whether I should just call myself gay or call myself demisexual with a preference for women. sorry this is so long orz i've been so confused over the past several months.
