Has anyone else felt this way? I'm an almost 20 year old female and I identify as asexual, but I'm not sure of my romantic orientation. I have had "crushes" on guys since 6th grade, but didn't start developing feelings for guys until my mom jokingly asked if I liked a guy. I've had about 5 or 6 crushes, but part of me wonders if I have simply convinced myself that my feelings are real. With almost every guy I have ever liked, a part of me feels like I'm lying to myself. It is almost like my subconscious knows the answer, but my semi-subconscious and conscious minds deny what my subconscious is telling me. My feelings have never really been that strong towards men, even the guy who I crushed on for four years. I very rarely am nervous when I talk to my "crushes" unlike most of my female friends. I could never relate when my they talked about how nervous they were when around the guys they liked. I rarely get nervous or feel awkward around my crushes. My daydreams involving the guys I like never even get as far as kissing. To imagine myself kissing a guy takes quite a bit a concentration. (and I'm still trying to decipher my feelings for women . . .) But I know that I do really care about the guys I like, it just seems to be in a different way then my other friends and their crushes. Has anyone else felt this way or feel like they can relate?
As you have identified yourself as asexual, I think it's easier for you to get an answer from asexuality.org. I have kinda looked through the website and found out there are many types of attractions you could have to a person but still do not feel to have sex with that person. I would like to know your definition of "crushes" on the guys. What do you exactly feel when you feel like you have a crush on them? Because they look cool/handsome? You like them because you feel a deep emotional connection with the guy? By the way, how well you know your crushes? I hope I could offer you a helping hand. I am not experienced but I have met friends feeling some same aspects that you have.
