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need help, I need to speak to someone who was straight then their orientation changed

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by dan89, Apr 5, 2014.

  1. dan89

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    Hi, I really need to speak to someone who's been in this situation, I feel like I'm the only person this has ever happened to. I used to be straight. 100% I'm sure of this, I loved women, everything about them, I could never understand why gay men existed with women being so hot and men gross, then at 17\18 something changed in me, I have ocd and the obsession shifted to me being gay, for no apparent reason, I remember the exact minute it happened too, after that day I became in an asexual state, been in love still but wasn't attracted to either sex, women romanticlly but that's it, I'm now 25 the obsession is back but this time I'm pretty strongly attracted to guys, I've been blaming the ocd for months now as my ocd is pretty intense, but after a few days soul searching I've realised I hadn't had these feeling since that day when I was 17. It appears my orientation has changed, I hate it and it's a constant struggle, it feels so alien to me, finding life long friends attractive, forget about the ocd and just think about the change in orientation change please, has this happened to anyone else? I need help! I can wrap my head around it, it sounds bizarre to me, it feels like I'm Guna wake from this nightmare, but did my ocd cross some wires, or did I turn gay that night in my sleep and suppressed any same sex attraction until now or did I turn straight overnight to asexual overnigjt to gay overnight? I duno. I wasn't in denial, I wasn't confused I can say with full certainty I was straight. There has to be someone out there that can relate to me. I'm constantly thinking of suicide
     
  2. confussed

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    Re: need help, I need to speak to someone who was straight then their orientation cha

    Hello Dan89: Suicide is never an option; it's a finally. There is no changing your mind or turning around once you have taken that step. The people you leave behind will always wonder what happened, or what went so wrong that pushing you to the decision to take your life. I would be that given the choice of helping you through this situation or allowing you to take your life they would rather be there to help you through this time in your life. Please call someone to talk to about you wanting to take your life. Nothing is worth that step and there are people out there that want to and will help you. I am not sure what has changed in your life that has made you do the 180 but there is something there that needs to be explored and talked through. What is it that makes you ocd? Many many times I have found myself very confused about my orientation and what it is that I want in life but some how it always works out.
     
  3. dan89

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    Re: need help, I need to speak to someone who was straight then their orientation cha

    Someone please help
     
  4. ChromeNerd

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    Re: need help, I need to speak to someone who was straight then their orientation cha

    Have you heard of HOCD? HOCD is a condition that makes you think you're gay when you're not. It can also cause false attractions and lower your sex drive. I know a lot of people here think it's just denial, but I know that HOCD and denial are completely different.
     
  5. paris

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    Re: need help, I need to speak to someone who was straight then their orientation cha

    Hey, Dan, there's this guy on the forum going under name "paranoidkid". I remember he was also struggling about his sexuality quite a lot, obsessing about being gay. Maybe reading about his experience could help you figure things out a little bit? Idk, it's just an idea. (*hug*)
     
  6. dan89

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    Re: need help, I need to speak to someone who was straight then their orientation cha

    Hi thanks for your reply, yes I have heard of hocd it's what I've been diagnosed with,and I have no doubt I have it but this isn't simple paranoia, I've suffered 3 times and each time was based on nothing, and the false attractions you speak of are completely different.y to what I'm experiencing now, it kills me to say it but they r genuine, my heterosexuality died some years ago and have been asexual but always put it down to being my father's son, the guy has no drive atall, hasn't had sex for 13 years lol, but now I'm attracted to guys, feeling I havnt felt for years, but I hate it, there is no doubt in my mind that I have infact.turned gay, it's mental even when I say it, it's ridiculous, I'm struggling so much, I hope it's my brain all messed up but I don't think it is. I just need to know if someone has turned gay before. And thank dude I will check this kid out,
     
  7. ChromeNerd

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    Re: need help, I need to speak to someone who was straight then their orientation cha

    I used to think I was attracted to guys as well. I even identified as bi for a while. I later discovered it was most likely false attraction. I know how real false attraction can feel. It felt like I was getting turned on by looking at guys faces. I also got that feeling with animals and kids. That's when I started suspecting that most of my attraction was false.
     
  8. dan89

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    Re: need help, I need to speak to someone who was straight then their orientation cha

    Haha its funny u say that because mines only to guys faces too tbh, it's pretty powerful though and yeah I get false attractions to my brother too which is awful but I think I can tell the two apart, I'm lucky to have a close female friend who is helping me, she doesn't believe I'm gay as I've known her my whole life, but the truth is nobody knows what's going on in my head and tbh neither do I. Being attracted to animals.must have been hard?
     
  9. ChromeNerd

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    Re: need help, I need to speak to someone who was straight then their orientation cha

    It was hard feeling like I was attracted to animals. It made me feel like a huge perv. I also remember being attracted to inanimate objects. It felt like I was gong crazy. Some of my feelings for guys did feel quite intense, but they were still false attractions. There was this one guy and I was getting falsely attracted to him. I kept getting invasive thoughts of kissing him. I eventually got an opportunity to kiss him, but I just couldn't.
     
  10. paris

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    Re: need help, I need to speak to someone who was straight then their orientation cha

    I wouldn't blame her if she knows you have slept with ca. 100 women. :icon_wink
     
  11. Re: need help, I need to speak to someone who was straight then their orientation cha

    Hey Dan,
    Since you said that you have been diagnosed with OCD and you seem to be really struggling; have you thought about going on meds?