Hi, Im new to this and Im really just coming here for advice on this kinda stuff. I've recently become sexually active with my girlfriend and it was the first time I had had sex ever with anyone but the first time I tried I freaked out a bit and couldnt maintain a boner but since then I keep worrying I might be gay, I have never felt any romantic emotions towards guys and have a history of anxiety meaning I worry over and over about anything I can. I have always been into girls just never found someone I liked enough to get intimate with cos people suck a lot of the time. I love having sex with my girlfriend but the worries there and I can get aroused over dudes sometimes but never to an actual erection and I have generally always identified as being straight and when jerking off I always fantisise over women, I was just posting this to ask if it is possible Im in some kinda super denial and im just forcing myself to be straight. Sorry if this sounds nuts but Im a bit lost as to what my brains up to
From what you said, I don't think you're gay. You get aroused by your girlfriend and like to be intimate with her: it doesn't sound like you're homosexual to me as you said, you weren't able to keep a boner the first time because you were nervous; and even if some guys manage to make you a little aroused, it doesn't mean you're gay. You see, the world isn't divided in gay and straight people; you can be straight, but with a little homosexual part, or even bisexual. Just look at the Kinsey scale; I myself have scored 5 (it means that I'm homosexual with a really, really little heterosexual component). So, if you love your girlfriend and like to be intimate with her, there's nothing to worry: you're straight, or, at least, bisexual ---------- Post added 7th Apr 2014 at 01:14 PM ---------- P.S. I just love your nickname!
If it helps, I would say you sound about as straight as it gets, you just got nervous about sex... Nerves do weird things to us. Naturally we assume that if we are going to have sex with someone we find attractive, it will go well. You're a hot-blooded male with an attractive girl, of COURSE you're going to sex her! Then the nerves kick in and you can't do it. You've got two options at that point. Accept you got nervous or look for an excuse. Turns out people quite often jump for the 'I must be gay' long before they go for the 'I got scared about doing the sex wrong'. Don't get me wrong, if you find yourself attracted to dudes, wanting to have sex with dudes and generally getting aroused by dudes, by all means start to question, but right now you've basically just described a worried straight person. Hope that helps.
You said you love having sex with her so you are attracted to her. You may be bisexual or maybe bi-curious. In my opinion peope do this mistake if they do not like opposite sex they start to think they are gay but in reality the only thing that makes you gay or bisexual or pansexual and all what involves attraction to same sex is that attraction to the same sex you said very little about your feelings for guys so I can't tell really
On the face of it, I wouldn't say you appear gay. Especially if you are not attracted to guys in a sexual way. As posted above, you may be at the very most bi-curious but it sounds borderline on that. If you are getting nervous, perhaps you need to stop and reflect on why that is. Are you perhaps afraid you are not pleasing your girlfriend or have some body image issues? If you feel comfortable with it, perhaps you could talk things through a bit with your girl friend. If she cares about you she should be supportive. Hope you magnate to sort things out, Happy days
