Not sure if I'm bisexual with a preference for girls, or just a lesbian?

This is my first post on this website, so hi EC! I apologize in advance as this ended up being pretty long, but I just wanna know if any of you guys can help me out.

For the past few months, I've identified as bisexual, and until then, I thought I was straight. But recently, I've been starting to question just how attracted to boys I actually am if at all.

I don't know how I was able to convince myself that I was straight for 18 years, as I've always been attracted to girls, but I guess I just didn't want to admit to myself that I'm anything but straight. I remember when I was younger, whenever I thought a girl was cute, I would just write it off as me wanting to look like her. Whenever I had a crush on a girl, I would act like I didn't like them because I was scared to feel that way, and if they ever came up in conversation I would just be generally bitter about them even though I got really nervous and stuff whenever they were around.

When I was 15, I remember thinking that I might be a lesbian, but the thought scared me so I pushed it as far back as I could (that was a pretty bad time for me aside from questioning my sexuality, so in all honesty, it was probably for the best to not be stressing out about it). I've never been in a relationship with a girl, but I can say that I really enjoy the thought and would like to do so sooner than later.

So I think I can safely say that the attraction to girls is definitely there, but the problem is that I really don't know how I feel about boys.

I've been in a relationship with three different guys, was having sex with one of my exes when we were dating, and I've kissed my fair share. For the most part, kissing and making out with guys has ranged anywhere from unarousing to pretty nice, but I can't say I've ever felt anything special with a guy. I always seem to end up dating a good friend, and then things just slowly go south. Whenever I've dated a guy, I always seem to feel like there's a lot more baggage to our relationship than there was before when we were just friends. I end up feeling like I'm just "acting" whenever I'm around them, having a hard time being myself, and feeling like the relationship is more of a chore, making me want to avoid them altogether. This has been the case with every relationship with a guy I've been in, and I don't know if it's just because I haven't found a guy that I really like, or if it's because I just don't like boys as much as I think I should.
As far as the sex went, I didn't enjoy it at all; but to be fair, it was true-blue awkward 17-year-old virgin sex, so that could have had something to do with it too.

I'm confused though, because sometimes I think boys are kind cute. I've enjoyed making out with them before, but the thought of having sex with them just doesn't appeal to me, whereas with girls, every aspect of it does. Like, I'll notice that a guy seems really nice and has a cute face, but I won't really have much of a desire to see him naked. I've had a few crushes on boys, but they've been increasingly few and far between, and have been based more on the guy's personality than anything else. Also, penises kind of freak me out, and I don't really like the idea of one inside of me.
It's always been like this for me, to the point that when I was younger my sex drive was so low that I thought I might just be asexual. Ever since I've embraced that I like girls though, my sex drive has noticably increased and I think I'm starting to see what all the fuss is about.

I know that nobody else can tell me whether I'm gay, straight, bi, pan, or whatever, but I just wanna know what orientation my feelings and behavior seem most typical of, because right now, I'm just really confused, so any help would be appreciated.

Sorry for the length of this, I tried to format in a way where it's a little easier on the eyes and not just a huge block of text.