Another: "Am I bi or gay?" questions... but with a twist.

You guys might be annoyed with these "bi or gay?" questions, and I know labels don't matter so much because sexuality is pretty tricky--but I think coming out is a bit easier with a label and a community (maybe?). And I'm really struggling with this at the moment. I'll try to keep this brief, but I don't have anyone else to come to at the moment as I'm only "out" to one friend.

Here's my Q: I'm 23, and I grew up in a super-restrictive cult-like religion that caused me to hate and hide and "ungay" myself for years. I finally left my religion and became a nonreligious skeptic (that's not the debate; I really think whatever you believe, as long as it doesn't hurt others, is a-ok), and I've been re-thinking everything. I've had girlfriends since I was 15, but we never did much sexually. I had a few one-nights in college with girls. But I've graduated recently and started messing with guys to the point that I've had more romantic and sexual encounters with guys than girls; I've even been sort of seeing a guy for two weeks.

Point being: I like girls to the point that I notice them; I flirt with them; I even make out when I'm out sometimes. I occasionally sleep with them. But I've found girls just don't turn me on like guys do. The porn I've watched since I was 14 has been 80% gay. I've had crushes on guys, even when I was religious (though I hid them, and was super regretful); when I was 18, I had a crush on the brother of one girl I was going out with.

Anyway, I've only loved a few people in my life romantically, and that most passionate love was still an ex-gf--sexually, emotionally, etc. I still can imagine myself with a girl for the rest of my life happy. But I can also imagine myself with a guy for the rest of my life, happy. And guys turn me on more, at least right now. I notice guys more, too.

I guess the point being is that I feel bi in that I have the capacity to love both guys and girls, but I def. lean one way on the Kinsey scale. Also, now that I'm starting to date guys as well, I know I need to "come out," at least to friends (family is another matter) for my own sanity and well-being. And I wonder if it is more productive to come out as bi if I have feelings both ways, or gay if I have a slight preference? I kinda like being bi, but I def. also see the attraction to guys being a big thing for me.

And my apologies for the length (hehe); I've not had any chance to talk this over with anyone.

XOXO