I'm 99% sure I'm a lesbian even though I'm only 14, never had sex, never kissed anyone, etc. The reason is I am emotionally attracted to girls, can't imagine myself ever even dating a guy again, and think I am physically attracted to girls. The one percent is because I only THINK I'm physically attracted to only girls. See I don't have a whole lot if experience in dating because I've started being homeschooled this year and I'm a freshman. I've never really been the same as other girls who thought wow he's hot or I have a crush on him, in fact in 4th grade I pretended to be boy crazy because I wasn't and that didn't fit the norm (if that makes sense.) I kinda had a crush on my best friend and would look at boobs a lot but I thought that was because I was jealous. Now when I look at a picture of a naked guy there's a slight warm at my woohoo area but I don't think it's attraction. It's more like sexual self awareness where I know he's suppose to be sexy so I'm thinking of sex so I feel a slight warmth. When I looked at a naked girl though I feel the warmth plus a little tingle and feel like I would want to touch her and just feel basically attracted. I don't feel this with guys though. When I look at guy on the street or in a movie I might notice his attractiveness but don't feel attracted to him. I have 34 Ds so it's not like I'm jealous of boobs anymore yet I still look at them. I just don't think I could ever really be with a guy. I also don't really want to be attracted to guys. I would much rather be attracted to girls. I'm kinda hoping I'm gay. But that warmth confuses me just a bit. There's also the fact I've always wanted my knight in shining armor. Ive always dreamt of a big wedding and someone who would always hold doors and basically had no flaws. But even if I found this person (which I know is impossible) I don't think I could sexually be attracted to him. Finally the advice, do you guys think I'm slightly bisexual, or just not use to being a lesbian. Similar experiences and results would help. Pleas no wait till I'm older and then i'll knows. They're not helpful and kind of frustrating. Thanks! (!)
Don't stress yourself too much, you know what you want and with whom you want it. And btw, who said that your knight in shining armor can't be a girl? :icon_wink
Whilst I will agree with what others have said as you should be in no rush to label yourself (labels are mostly for the benefit of other people, to clarify your sexuality to them and you should be focused on yourself first and foremost), you asked if anyone had similar experiences so I will respond. Your situation sounds a lot like me when I was your age. I had always looked at girls rather than boys and I can remember pretending/trying to like boys that girls in my year were interested in because it seemed like something I was supposed to do. I would look at girls and become aroused at naked pictures of women. I also had some slight attraction towards males but only if they were very androgynous. Seeing sex scenes (not in porn, I didn't watch that until my later teens, more like scenes in films or tv) made me confused because I thought enjoying watching straight sex must mean I was straight, although my focus was always on the woman. I did try dating a few boys and had a boyfriend at one point but I never enjoyed kissing them or wanted to do anything else with them. When I was 19 a girl with big boobs lay over my lap (she wasn't coming onto me or anything, she was just looking at something) and it was the first time I'd ever become aroused from physical contact. Now at age 28 I have come to accept that I will never be attracted to anything masculine but am strongly attracted to women and have begun the process of coming out, have only told my mum so far. I still sometimes think that androgynous men are attractive but don't want to see them with their clothes off or anything. I'm not saying you will be the same, this is just my experience and I don't want to tell you that you'll be one thing or another. It certainly sounds like you are attracted to girls but you could be bi, lesbian, homoflexible or a more complicated form of orientation where emotional and physical attraction are separate. As frustrating as it is you might have to wait and see how you feel before you have any kind of certainty, as only you can know for sure. Nobody else can tell you what you are. One thing though, you mentioned about always wanting a knight in shining armor or a big wedding etc, this doesn't necessarily indicate orientation. Many people who later come out as gay aspire to have these experiences but imagine it with the opposite sex because that is how we are raised to think. Have you tried imagining how it would feel if your partner in these scenarios was a woman? All the best
You don't have to have sex or kiss a girl to know you are lesbian. After all, straight kids don't do that and they know THEY are straight. So what if your Prince Charming is a Princess, it's ok.
Thanks for the responses. I'm not stressed just working through my emotions and I'm kinda a perfectionist so if I'm not 100% certain on how I feel about something it bugs me a bit and I think about it a lot. I know my prince could be a princess it's just weird to think about it because like tigerinatophat said that's not what I grew up with. I know no lesbians and while my mom's kinda bisexual she doesn't really talk about it.
Like you I grew up thinking it would have to be with a man. The only difference was I always thought I was against marriage because I knew after the wedding I'd have to live with a male and have sex with him and that sounded like a death sentence to me. It is only recently (baring in mind I'm in my late 20s now) that it even occurred to me to think of marrying a woman, and to my complete shock I actually liked the idea of it. I really wish that I could have seen this as possible when I was your age. But at that time ideas like same-sex marriage were just a pipe dream. It's only in the last few years that society is changing really. Hopefully your generation and those after will grow up understanding themselves better because they see what is possible. You already seem to be well on the road to understanding your orientation even if you do have some doubts left so that's good.
