Hallo, If I've ever thought about my sexuality at all, I've assumed I'm straight. I've always had a slight attraction to girls, but in my teens I hid it because frankly it terrified me (Catholic upbringing, Catholic school, all that baggage). Then I met my best friend, married him, had kids, and so happily ever after. Now I'm hitting late 30s, and my partner and I have travelled a long road together - in the last year or so he's felt comfortable enough to admit he's definitely attracted to girls, but probably gender-identifies as more female too, and I finally plucked up the courage to say I like guys, but I think I quite like girls too. Maybe this is why we get on so well, haha. Anyway, I have no idea if I am bi, or just curious, and given that I'm very happy with my male partner, does it matter anyway? I'm just not sure what to do now, or how to explore this. I am aware now that my lack of social skills has led me to shun friendships, because if I get too close to a girlfiend I then start to panic about how close is too close, and all that. I really need to stop being so uptight :icon_sad:. Allowing myself to fancy women seems scary (what if it messes up my existing relationship?), and I guess I don't really know what the question is, let alone the answer, but this is the first time I've said any of this, so thanks for just letting me word-vomit :dry:
Hiya, I can somewhat relate to your story. I also assumed I was always straight. I was in a relationship and married to my partner for 13 years we both have kids and have been through a lot together. We are now separated but are good friends. I think in reflection I always knew I was attracted to both genders but a) was scared to admit it and b) never had to really deal with it as I was in a committed relationship so what does it matter. And the fact is, it doesn't. You like who you like and that's fine. I know it can seem scary, believe me I was a wreck when I first admitted it to myself. However, I feel a much more complete person being true to who I am. And to whether being bi-curious or bisexual, I'm afraid only you can really answer that. Look deep down and explore how you really feel. You could try dating people of any gender also, but don't push yourself into doing anything you are not comfortable with. Also, try not to get too hung up on labels of bi-this or bi-that. Your just you, and as I said before, you like who you like. Hope this helps, Happy days
I think its a bit like stepping stones. Each stone is for me anyway a lesson and then I leap onto the next stone or decide to stay on the one I am on. I have always had attractions towards women but I have always led a straight life (up to now). Been married twice and buried the feelings I had for women. Not too deep as I knew it was there but I just carried on with my life. So my stepping stone are..... Bi-curious and confused.......Married and bi-curious but not acting on it..... next step maybe I'm Bisexual...... Um no, don't really fancy men (although I am married to one)..... ok, next leap...... maybe I am gay? ummmm yep that's it I am......Ended marriage........Now ready to explore the real me...... I only find women sexy, so I need to stop kidding myself and do something about it now and see where it takes me. I suppose its good in a way to have these labels on which stepping stone you are on so you can feel you belong somewhere but I am surprised how many labels there are. Just to let you know, my first husband, who I divorced about 14 years back and have two kids with is now happily living as a women. We are now friends and she is so much more happy being herself. Her real life began early last year when she first came out as gay but a couple of months later came out as trans MtoF. I am here for you if you would like to chat more.
Thank you, and thanks Butterfly too. Just saying it out loud (well, typing it!) has been a huge weight off, and your sensible advice has really helped. I need to relax a little and just think things though, it's not an URGENT DILEMMA THAT NEEDS TO BE SOLVED RIGHT NOW, which is how it felt before :icon_wink Thanks for your support, and I like the stepping stones imagery. One stone at a time, eh
