Question for anyone who's bi or gay

Yes this happens to me ALL the time. Ill go for months where I'd only want to be with men. Then turn around next day and need women. It's VERY fluid, for me atleast.

But also Remember that we don't need labels, anyway.. As long as you're happy, who gives a Duck?

 

Identifying yourself as bisexual is quite often, but not always, a step between accepting yourself as straight and accepting yourself as lesbian.

If you're beginning to notice that you don't find guys attractive, it could be that you're beginning to fully accept yourself as lesbian, without the 'bargaining' stage of bisexual in between.

If you're confident that you're bisexual, it could be like Alexzander said - you could just be fluctuating between genders. Sexuality can be a very fluid thing, and can depend a lot on your mood and where you're at in life, so I wouldn't be surprised if that's the case.

From my own experience, I'd say that you're most likely transitioning from accepting yourself as straight to lesbian. When I first was realizing my sexuality, I thought that I was bisexual for at least a year before I realized that I didn't find women attractive 95% of the time.
Sexuality isn't 100% though for everyone. There are times where I can say, "Wow that woman is attractive." But 99% of the time, I don't have any feelings at all for them, like you said. I just want to be friendly with them, which I why I identify as gay.

Also, as Alexzander pointed out, we don't really need labels, but they do help us feel more confident in ourselves and sort of 'validated' by society.

Let us know if you have more questions/comments/concerns. This is always an interesting topic for me, so I'd love to talk more!

 

Hey fellow Kentuckian! Not sure if I've shared this with you before, but the line that I use is "I'm not so gay that I'd kick a beautiful woman out of my bed, but gay enough that I doubt I'll be bringing one there anytime soon." I'm basically a homoflexible gay, but for simplicity's sake I just say I'm gay.

 

I did used to think I was bi, and when I did, I did feel at least sort of attracted to boys. But soon I could only think of girls, and then I started to think, "Did I ever really like boys to begin with?" My feelings for girls were always stronger than for boys, after all. That's when I started to think of myself as a lesbian instead. With how much I like girls now, I simply don't feel happy imagining myself with a boy.

 

I'm Bisexual, but I tend to think of girls more. There was a period where I liked guys more, then I liked guys and girls about the same, and now I am nearly a lesbian. I only like a few guys, but only one to the point where I would consider anything with him (he's WAY older than me.) but in time, I'll probably shift right back to guys. But for now, I like girls a lot and really want a girlfriend. I can sort of develop crushes on guys but they don't last long, or have anything to them. I have actually kind of balanced things out in terms of attraction to the point where I don't really want anyone anymore, at least sexually, regardless of their gender. Sexuality is very fluid. It shifts and changes but usually stays in a general description.

 

Bisexuality can vary sometimes. It's fairly normal for people to fluctuate between their attractions, and it's nothing to be worried about. I've gone through periods where I was only attracted to girls, and through a period where I was only attracted to guys. It's completely normal.

 

That also happens to me! For a few months I was only attracted to guys and now I found myself only attracted to the same-sex. There was also a period where I liked someone of the same and opposite sex at the same time.

 

Honestly? You sound like you might be a lesbian. Bisexuals have to be atleast sexually attracted to the opposite sex once in a while. So hop on into the Sapphic pool the water is fine

 

I have been through things like that where one time I prefer men then women it's very normal for me :-D

 

It was quite the opposite for me. I had periods where I questioned being bi as I only seemed sometimes to be interested in the opposite sex. I realised however, on personal reflection that it was down to my more particular taste in guys than girls and thus it was just I was not encountering as many guys I liked as a result.
As I stated in previous posts the likelyhood of me encountering guys I like was much less than that of girls as I have a broader taste in girls. Even though I can be attracted to each with equal intensity if they are my type.

Happy days

 

Honestly I have had what I thought was an odd journey but now that I'm here seems pretty typical. I thought I was strait for the longest time I even dated girls, it turns out I was only feeling romantic attraction because I was lead to believe that was what I was supposed to feel, even after my last girlfriend which was about 8 years ago I was still looking at only girls and telling myself I was attracted to them, I was wrong. Now that I'm open about my sexuality(with myself at least) and I've finally allowed myself to check out guys I can say for sure I was never sexually attracted to girls. Though I did have a long time where I pressed with myself to at least be bi.

 

I go back and forth all the time. Even more so since realising I was trans xD