I am a 21 year old female who has found herself attracted to girls since about age 13, but has only ever dated guys. However, recently I've been wondering if I'm attracted to men at all. I've only had sexual experiences with men, and some of them have been traumatic. I feel like I need to have sex with men regardless of whether or not I want to. I have never had a romantic or physical relationship with a women and the thought of it terrifies me. I feel like I have no emotional support. Nothing any of my friends, even my friends who have struggled with their sexuality, have been able to give me any helpful advice or words of encouragement. I've tried reaching out to the GSA at my college but didn't really find them helpful either. I was unable to connect with anyone there. I feel like there is something wrong with me.
Heya - Hopefully EC will be able to help you out more than your friends have. There's a much wider variety of experience here, so I'm sure someone can relate and help guide you through these confusing feelings. Why do you feel like you need to have sex with men, regardless of whether or not you want to? The thought of a relationship with a woman most likely terrifies you because you've not really accepted that you like women. You're still in deep denial, which is totally normal. You haven't had the kind of support necessary to begin feeling comfortable with yourself. But, you're here on EC, so give yourself some credit. We can definitely help you work on identifying your sexuality, and then coming to terms with and accepting that sexuality. Anyway - You feel you're attracted to girls and not men, but why do you feel as though you need to continue with men?
