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Not sure as to which side I lean

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by aspie musician, Apr 11, 2014.

  1. Okay.I know I am bisexual...but its tricky to know whether I lean more towards the gay/straight side of things these days.I always thought that I liked men more but then it felt like the opposite.And now it feels like I am back in the middle.

    I wonder if there are others who feel like they can not really tell which side they lean towards half the time as well.Its almost like a cultural thing.If I spend enough time around certain types of people,its almost as if it has some kind of minor effect on my sexuality(if that even makes sense).

    I do not think that I can honestly say that I lean towards a certain side at the moment.I suppose that could change but for me the person INSIDE is what counts.So I have no suspicions or idea which gender I might end up with either.And I feel that I can honestly be happy with either at the moment.Although a preference may come as a relief and make things easier I suppose...but I do not know if that will be possible(at least for the time being anyway)

    Just wondering if there are others who feel this way.Any advice will be appreciated as well.Thanx.
     
  2. TJ

    TJ
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    Though I'm not bisexual, I do know that sexuality can be a fluid thing, especially for bisexuals. What gender you're attracted to can vary greatly based on an infinite number of things: medication you're on, your current monetary situation, where you're currently living, your mood, etc.

    That being said, if we're describing sexuality as 'fluid', it's got a pretty high viscosity in my experience, meaning it doesn't shift rapidly.
    For me, the change has always been gradual. My desires/kinks as a gay man shift very gradually.

    Anyway - I wouldn't classify myself as bisexual, so I may not be able to help you through experience, but I know many people feel the same way as you.
     
  3. The change is gradual to an extent(I feel a certain way for a few months at least)...but have a feeling I might be more interested in women now...But have no interest in getting married or having kids.Wish I was just gay to be completely honest.Or if straight then I wish I was your typical straight guy....

    Its a total 180 degree turn of what I am used to and have no idea as to how to deal with it.I just feel that I can never really identify myself as straight/gay it just does not feel right unless I really feel that way.But this dual attraction gets on my nerves after awhile...I really want to be able to just pick my side...it will make things so much easier...but I will still feel like I am not being true to myself.

    ---------- Post added 11th Apr 2014 at 09:31 PM ----------

    I guess all I can do is go with the flow and see where this all of this leads......
    I really wish this was just a phase.But yeah.25 years old and I still feel like this....
    If the right person comes along then they will accept me the way I am.If they do not,then I suppose I will end up alone.Which is not the worst.Sure its lonely but it also has its positives.

    Will just let whatever happens,happen.
     
  4. Feeling better now and not about to make more of an issue than need be out of this.
     
  5. I do not feel I have a particular preference and that is OKAY
     
  6. MaddogMJ5

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    I'm pan or bi. Idk. Anyways, I find myself switching between liking guys, girls ETC at random times. Don't bother coming up with a label. Just do whatever you wanna do, and like whoever you wanna like. =)
     
  7. Bi smith

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    I'm bi and at the moment I am not leaning towards a particular gender the best thing to do I find is to not think about it to hard and eventually you will probably find yourself either liking guys / girls more
     
  8. Its all cool.Whether I end up preferring a gender over another or not is not really an issue for me anymore.In the end love is the most important thing for me at the end of the day.Maybe I'll end up with a girl.Maybe I'll end up with a guy.
     
  9. Agaetis Byrjun

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    I'd agree that bisexuality can be a very fluid thing. I find, too, that my preferences will change like my mood, like being in a mood that lasts two months at a time.

    It might be interesting to think about the old ideas about bisexuality (real weird nineteenth-century stuff here)—the term emerged as "two sexualities," ie both hetero and homosexual. So it makes sense that you could move between one or the other for longer periods of time. It doesn't have to mean that you want to be with a man and a woman all of the time.
     
  10. Lets say I decide to lead a gay lifestyle despite how I may feel.How would this affect identifying myself?I know this sounds selfish but just tired of this.

    ---------- Post added 15th Apr 2014 at 05:13 AM ----------

    Nah.That would make me a hypocrite...
     
  11. I guess I lean more towards men most of the time and knowing me it will be the case again soon.Cant identify myself as gay though because then I would be dishonest.

    As for relationships:will see what happens and take it from there.

    ---------- Post added 15th Apr 2014 at 05:53 AM ----------

    I am just going to pick a side.Just makes things easier.