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Very confused about my sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by aldine, Apr 11, 2014.

  1. aldine

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    I'm male-born, 27 years old. I have several issues with my sexual and gender orientation. I only feel sexually attracted to men, but only feel romantically attracted to women. Also, I'm not sure if I'm transgender, because from my young childhood I've had strong desires to be a woman. I even crossdressed many times. But I'm not sure if I really feel like a woman or not. What do you think about all of this?

    Please ask anything if you need more info or something is not clear, I don't know if i write clear enough because English is not my native language :frowning2:
     
  2. hii

    hii
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    I had a perfectly fine time reading your post. Couldn't even tell you weren't a native English speaker until you said so.

    As funny as it sounds, you actually sound very clear about your sexual orientation. You can be sexually attracted to one sex and romantically attracted to the other. Just like being heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual etc. you can be heteroromantic, biromantic, homoromantic, etc.

    As for gender, do you want to live your life as a woman? Or do you just want to crossdress sometimes? What would make you most happy?
     
  3. aldine

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    Sometimes I think I'd like to live like a woman, but it seems something impossible. It's difficult to explain, but I just don't feel like I could have the braveness to make a transition like that. What I'm totally sure of is that I wish I had been born a woman. Being a man is in so many ways so opposite to what I feel is my inner self that it has frustrated me in many times during my life, it is like I have to act all the time to be a man...

    Speaking about sexuality and romantic attraction, what I wonder is how could I ever find a long-term romantic partner if I can't offer sex to her, knowing that almost everyone assumes sex is an essential part of any relationship? I wish I could have sex with women, or fall in love with men.
     
  4. hii

    hii
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    You can identify as a woman without fully transitioning. Maybe you could simply start expressing yourself more like how you want to and see what it feels like. What is it that scares you about transitioning? Is it that it can be expensive, timely, or tiring to go through? Is it that you are scared to come out to other people?

    If your sexuality and romantic attraction do not quite match with each-other, I can understand that it would be difficult and confusing. There are asexual but romantic women, and women with differing romantic and sexual orientations like you. It depends on the person as well. Your preferences might even change depending on the relationship, you never know. I encourage you to stick around EC, I'm sure these kinds of forums will help you a lot. :slight_smile:
     
  5. aldine

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    Well, I'm not really sure if I want to be a woman, I'm really confused there. I know a big part of me is feminine, but I'm not sure if I don't need the small male part. But even if after all, I discover that I'm 100% a woman and I had the money and time to transition, what really scares me is having to come out. I don't think I could do that, it would be too much for my family, friends, etc. Perhaps even for me. I would be ashamed of it. I know it's not the right attitude, but I'm just being honest. And anyway, I feel I could live as a man the rest of my life if there are people, even if they're just a few, or only one, that accepts me knowing all about me, and I can feel no shame of anything of me before them.
     
  6. hii

    hii
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    Even though it seems to me like some of your doubts are because you're scared of coming out, you can present yourself however would make you feel happy and comfortable. Make sure you don't feel like you're putting on a front for everyone, though.