hello everyone, i have this question that has been bothering me since yesterday. im wondering am i really a lesbian as i thought i was before yesterday? because since two years ago, iv been attracted only to females, and the thought of being with a man, either sexually or even romantically seems icky. but then before 2011, i used to love boys, and i had alot of crushes on boys alone. then i would not even have entertained the idea of me being a lesbian, the thought of being with a girl either sexually or romantically would have grossed me out! but now all i think about are girls, and girls alone. in 2012 i developed my first crush on a girl and thereafter i started to question my sexuality, thinking that maybe i was bisexual since i still had feelings for boys. but then i also remember that ive never had a crush on a boy since four years ago, and also that the first and last time i dated a boy i was 12 and i really felt nothing for him. last year i fell in love with a girl i know from my school, and the thing is, i dont think ive ever felt this deeply for a guy before. so then since last year, ive been thinking i might really be a lesbian. i took the kinsey scale test last year and i scored a 4 which meansim bisexul but slighlty more attracted to girls. however since last year and up to now my feelings for guys as a whole have been diminishing, and ive found my self thinking that were i to take the kinsey scale test again today, i might score a 5 if not a 6. but whats bothering is this- am i really a lesbian, or did i somehow coerce myself into believing this, maybe to avoid labelling myself a bisexual which i might very well be i think, or to avoid developing any feeleings for guys because of the issues i have against men that i dont really underrstand? or is it because i have this strong feeling that everyone around has thoughtt i am a lesbian since last year, even strangers too seem to think that, although i cant really get why because i wear dresses and skirts most of the time...
I am a lesbian but I had a relationship with a guy for two years. I couldn't sleep with him though. Just huh uh. I was attracted to him and had developed feeling for him just not to the extent of having intercourse. It is possible to be a lesbian and like boys but I don't recommend it. It is confusing and some one is bound to get hurt in the end. If you feel you like girls, then you do. As the comment above said, you might have a case of fluid bisexual in you, but it sounds to me like you're a young lesbian. I was there been there done that. Keep calm and love women. They click much easier and in many more levels than boys.
Sounds like you could be fluid bisexual or you could be gay whelther your a lesbian or not doesnt matter if you like boys that's fine too.
It sounds like you are bisexual. Keep in mind being a lesbian doesn't mean that you can't be attracted to boys,it just means that you are attracted to girls a lot more.
it sounds me to that you are bisexual, why don't you meet and date people of both genders and see what you prefer
thank you for all your responses, though i dont think that i could be ''fluid bisexual" since i havent been having any romantic feelings towards guys these past few years, only girls. whats worrying me is how did my sexuality change so suddenly, and why did it change anyway? ive been wondering also whether this is only a phase?
I was worried about the same thing last year. I'm in the opposite situation from you orientation wise. I'd lived my whole life knowing I was only physically attracted to women. I have however been dating a guy but still am generally attracted to women. Did my sexuality suddenly change, have I been bi all along and it's now just made itself apparent (I look at other guys and it's like blah) Is it a phase? I know that term is hated because of it's misuse by the homophobes but it might be a possibility in certain cases. To really know the answers for sure you'd have to know what causes attraction to a particular gender in the first place. Is it genetic hard wiring, psychological, chemical, or what combination of those? Is it a true change or just a realization of something already present? There are a lot of theories but none of them have been proven scientifically factual yet. My guess is if you've been feeling this way for the last 2 yrs, it's probably not a phase.
i agree with sldanlm that in order for me to figure out the answer to my question, id first have to decide what sexual orientation caused by or depends on. although i still feel like i need to do a whole lot more thinking on this matter, your answers- especially sldanlms- have helped to put things in perspective for me.